Page 101 of Perfect Storm
“Alright,” Aidan said, rolling his eyes, even though he was pleased, deep down.
Not worrying about being stupid or out of touch or evenbadat this was more enjoyable than he’d even imagined it could be. He could be his complete dork, un-cool self with Levi, without ever having to put up theI’m-a-quarterback-in-the-NFLfront.
A lot of people, even teammates, often expected the front. Theact.
Levi looked at him weird when he even attempted it, and it was so much fucking easier to just drop it completely in these quiet moments.
To just be Aidan.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Levi asked.
“Sex?”
Levi laughed. “I hate to break it to you, but I’m not eighteen still. We’re gonna have to wait some more time for that. I mean, whatever’s bothering you.”
Aidan opened his mouth to argue that nothing was—at least nothing that he wanted to talk about, but Levi kept going. “I know something is. I can see your mind going, behind your eyes.You’re always thinking, analyzing, but this is more than that. Something you’re wrestling with. If it’s not your sexuality—”
“It’s notnotmy sexuality,” Aidan said, before he could stop himself.
That was the problem with relaxing around Levi. Aidan was actually, in fact,relaxed,and shit he didn’t mean to say or do kept happening.
“Then what is it?” Levi asked gently. His fingertips stroked Aidan’s neck. He’d never thought he’d like such a delicate touch, either. Thought he’d been above that since he was twelve and his parents’ marriage had imploded so spectacularly.
“I . . .I’ve never liked sex as much as I like it with you,” Aidan admitted.
He knew Levi by now. Should be sure that Levi wouldn’t freak out at that kind of confession, but Aidan tensed anyway.
He shouldn’t have worried; Levi grinned, huge and overjoyed. “I’m trying not to fist-pump here, bro.”
“I’m only surprised that you’re holding yourself back.”
Levi turned soulful brown eyes on Aidan. “I’m trying to be supportive. Don’t doubt that.”
“I don’t,” Aidan said and meant it.
“So, that’s fucking you up, then? What it means?”
Trust Levi to get right to the heart of the matter. “Yeah. Basically. Like maybe . . .if I never understood why people went crazy for sex, because the sex I was having was only mediocre, clearly there was something that wasn’t working for me. And what is that? Well, it’s pretty obvious what it must be.”
“Yes and no,” Levi said.
“Oh come on, man, you know what it is. It’s that you’re aguy. Here I thought I was straight my whole life. And first there was . . .well, you know, and nowyou.”
“That could be it, for sure,” Levi agreed. He didn’t look particularly shocked by how Aidan would—or actually,wouldn’t—bring up Mo. “But I’m not convinced.”
“What?”
“First, I just wanna say labels don’t matter.”
Aidan shot him a look. “Seriously?”
“Seriously, bro. What does it matter what you call yourself as long as you know what you want?”
“You mean, as long as what I want is you,” Aidan said flatly.
Levi burst out laughing, delighted. “Yeah. Duh. Of course. But it’s more than that. More than just me. Bigger than just us, Aidan.”
“Right.” Aidan didn’t like that. He didn’t want it to be bigger than just this moment right here, side by side on his couch. Because if it was, then Aidan might have to find someone else who fit him like Levi did. And he really fucking didn’t want to.
