Page 244 of Small Town Firsts
I wrapped my arm around my middle, the quick flash of pain hitting me harder than I thought it would. A part of me had always known Oliver didn’t want his brother with me. And it wasn’t like the revelation was a total surprise. Oliver had mentioned introducing Seth to Marj at the diner. But a casual intro wasn’t the same as an intentional one. I could tell from Oliver’s expression he’d had a method to his madness far beyond Seth just meeting his friend.
“Why?”
“Because he didn’t need me anymore, dammit.”
My eyes burned and I blinked away the quick rush of tears. “What? Of course he did. Of course hedoes. You’re his brother.”
“The minute you came into his life, there was nothing else. We even went to different schools, for fuck’s sake. He was supposed to try out public school for a year and then come back to prep school junior year if he didn’t like it, but he met you. He didn’t want to leave here after that, no matter what he thought of the school. He didn’t say that, but that’s the truth of it.”
I frowned. “You think he chose me over you?”
“I know he did.” Oliver’s dark eyes were fierce. “And I hated you for it. Stupid, petty, and small, I know, but I did.”
“We’re just friends.”
“You were never just friends. You both may have hidden in that role for the majority of your relationship, but deep down, you both knew it wasn’t just platonic.”
“I…” I had to swallow hard. I’d always loved him. Even when my mother’s caregiving took over my life, I’d always put him in the back of mind as the end goal. The unattainable goal.
Maybe that was why I hadn’t ever managed to choose a college away from Crescent Cove. The only thing I’d ever really wanted was here—Seth, and the family we could make. Simple maybe, but honestly, it was the only thing I’d ever really wanted.
“I love him so much,” I whispered.
Just saying it was like dropping a burden. I’d held those words back for so long.
“I know you do.” Oliver sighed. “And he loves you too.”
“How can you?—”
“Look, if you want to question it after all this? After he found every reason in the known universe to get you to stay in his life, then I don’t know what to tell you. But I had to at least try to help out for once. Because that man is drowning. You’re everything he ever wanted, he’s just too stubborn to put the label on it because he’s afraid you’ll run.” Oliver shook his head. “You’re both so fucking afraid.”
“Well, look at what we come from.”
“Guess what, sweetheart? We aren’t what we come from. We’re exactly what we choose to be. You want that idiot I call a brother, then you go after him.”
A loud pop and whistle startled me and I swung around. A huge spray of white fireworks fanned up into the night sky. In the center of it was a spray of red that shot out in dual arcs.
A heart.
My vision wavered when another one went up. Then another. A succession of them lit up the cove and kept on coming.
“Well, finally.”
I tried to turn back to Oliver, but I couldn’t pull myself from the display. “They’re beautiful.” And I should be enjoying them with Seth, not locking myself away in the little shame-shack his family owned.
We’d spent hours here as teenagers. We’d told each other secrets, we’d even confessed a few dreams, and shed some tears. But this was our past. Out there was our future.
Those hearts had to be a sign.
I stepped forward, then stilled, clutching my arms around my middle.
“Stop fighting it. Why the hell are you so afraid?”
I whipped around. “You’re one to talk, Oliver Hamilton. I don’t see you getting caught up with anyone.”
“No one has ever mattered enough.”
“No, you neverletthem matter enough.” I was breathing heavy. But he was right. I’d let fear rule my life for long enough. “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for. I know how it is to hide.”
