Page 27 of A Promise of Forever
Lorcan raises an eyebrow, catching on immediately to what that means. "Please tell me you aren't planning to bring Sterling back here tonight for the actual fights."
The concern in his voice is genuine, and I appreciate it even as I bristle at the implied criticism. "I can't shield him from my life forever. I'd rather him reject me now before I put my bite in his shoulder and make everything permanent."
It's a pitiful excuse to keep Sterling at my side while also trying to shield a piece of my heart from inevitable disappointment. The truth is more complicated, wrapped up in desperate need and protective instinct and the terrifying realization that I want this Omega more than I've ever wanted anything. I want him. And I want to save him and fix him and protect him from everything that's ever hurt him. But will he want me the same way once he sees what I really am? Once he understands that this violence isn't occasional, it's who I am at my core?
Sterling
Tucked back into the little cottage, surrounded by the soft blankets and pillows that smell like Forrest, everything is perfect. Well,mostlyperfect. Something feels wrong. Thea's warm apple pie scent drifts through the door, even after I told her she didn’t have to physically stand right outside. But she made it clear that Forrest wouldn’t be happy if anything happened to me. When I didn’t like that explanation, she told me she was happy to serve a boss who had been nothing but kind over the years and had seen her as more thanjust a Beta.
That’s all good and well but it’s been hours since I stuffed myself in here and Forrest still hasn’t come back. Sleep comes and goes but every time I wake without him at my side, I worry he’s not coming. Or that he doesn’t want to. Or that he’s searching for a way to give me back. Just a few days ago, I couldn’t even fathom the idea of something like this and now I’m horrified at the idea that he may not want me.
Letting the panic get the better of me, I slip off the bed and head to the door, my hand hovering over the doorknob. That little knot in my chest is getting worse, the feeling that maybe something happened to Forrest growing. Maybe hecan’tcome back.
A sharp pain spreads through me as I grumble under my breath about broken promises and false dreams. Some part of me knows the irritability is coming from my heat, my instincts drawing me to need Forrest more than I would under normal circumstances. But it also just feels wrong being in this space without him.
Giving into my baser instincts, I yank open the door with enough force that it bangs against the wall. A brisk wind spills inside, bringing heavy rain with it, a downpour that I couldn’t even hear from the safety of my little space. Thea twists around from beneath an erected awning that wasn’t there a few hours ago, her expression shifting from bored watchfulness to concerned attention. "What's wrong?" she asks, already moving toward me like she expects to find a threat. She stops just at the entrance, not coming any closer.
The question makes me suddenly remember my place in this world. I'm just an Omega, not someone who gets to make demands or stomp around in fits of temper. Fear and embarrassment flood through me as I shrink back into the doorway.
"Where is Forrest?" My voice comes out smaller than I intended, all the anger drained away and replaced with anxiety.
Thea sighs, her shoulders dropping a little as her voice softens. "Oh, he's..."
"Is he hurt? Is he here? Did he come back? Why didn't he come back to me?" I wring my hands in front of me, stepping closer to the edge of the cottage, but I can’t see much of the main house from this angle. There’s a few lights on, but the darkness and rain blocks out most everything else, droplets catching at the bottom of my shirt and soaking into my pants.
Without waiting for Thea's answer, I step out onto the pavement, not even caring that I’m ill-dressed. My feet splash through puddles in the garden path, rain soaking through my borrowed clothes within seconds, but I don't care. I need to see Forrest, need to verify that he's okay and figure out what I did wrong. Because it had to be something I did, right?
Thea follows right behind me, her voice raised to be heard over the rain. "Sterling, wait! He had to deal with some business and he gets into these moods afterward. They aren't really pleasant to be around. Please, he wouldn't want to hurt you."
The words make me stop and turn to face her, rain running down my face and mixing with tears started from the panic. "Something is actually wrong with him? Is he injured? Please, I need to know."
"He's not injured," Thea says carefully, clearly trying to find words that won't freak me out more. She gestures back to the cottage, but I don’t budge from where I am. "He's just... processing some things. Forrest can be intense after he handles certain business matters."
"Can I please see him?" It almost feels like a plea, a desperate whine following as I meet her eyes. "I just need to see him. To know he's okay."To know that I didn’t do something wrong. To know that he still wants me.
Thea pulls out her phone, water already beading on the screen. "How about I call him first? Let him know you're worried?"
"Why can't I just see him?"
Thea sighs heavily, clearly weighing her options, then pulls up Forrest's contact and places the call on speaker. The rain lets up a little, but it does nothing for my visibility. The phone rings once, twice, and then Forrest's voice comes through, rough and tired.
"What's wrong?"
Thea starts to speak, but I cut her off, hating that I can hear the slight echo. It means he isn’t all that far away, but he chose to stay in the main house rather than come back to me. "Why won't you come here? You’re here, right? At the main house? Why? Did I do something wrong? You said to use my colors, sir, and I did. I said red and you let me leave and now you won't come back and I don't understand what I did."
There's a long pause where all I can hear is rain and my own racing heartbeat. Then I see movement at the back door of the main house across the yard. Forrest appears in the doorway, and even from this distance, I can see that he looks terrifying.
His expression carries the same barely controlled rage I witnessed when someone woke us up hours earlier. His jaw is clenched tight, every line of his body radiating the same dangerous tension. This is the monster people warn about when they talk about Valla, the predator that society fears and tries to contain.
But I need to see him anyway.
Forrest starts moving toward me slowly, like he's trying to control every step and keep himself from doing something he'll regret. The rain soaks him immediately, plastering his shirt to his muscular frame and droplets running down his hardened face. By the time he reaches me, I’m even more of a mess, panic and terror running down my spine as I wait for him to explain.
I search his expression for answers but find none, gently reaching up to run my fingers along the edge of his jaw. “Si-sir?”
Nearly every instinct is telling me to bow my head and submit to him, except for some part of me telling me that my Valla needs me. Just as much as I need him. Forrest takes a step closer and then leans down to kiss me, his lips cold from the rain but his mouth hot with barely contained emotion. When he pulls back, he murmurs against my lips, "I'm sorry."
The apology doesn't feel like enough. I whimper and lean up for more contact, needing to feel connected to him in ways that go beyond words. Forrest responds by picking me up, his large hands sliding beneath my thighs to support my weight, and I immediately wrap my legs around his waist.
