Page 151 of Reaper and Ruin
Ari shook her head.
X plonked down next to her. “Personally, I’m scared.” He leaned in and stage whispered to her. “Scared of the poopy diapers!” He held his nose theatrically, clearly trying to make her laugh.
And to his credit, her lips did flicker up into a half-smile, but it faded quickly, her gaze coming back to me. Her bottom lip trembled.
My heart shattered into a million pieces. This little girl might have only been in my life a couple of weeks, but I was alreadyso in love with her. It was impossible not to be when I had been her. I related to her so easily and just wanted to fix every horrible memory so all she had left was good ones. I couldn’t do that, but I had already committed to trying, so one day, when she was older, she could at least say she had more good memories than bad ones.
I didn’t want this to be one of the bad ones.
I picked up her hand and just quietly gave her the space to talk in her own time.
Eventually, with her eyes full of tears, and her voice barely more than a whisper, she asked, “When do I have to go back?”
Levi’s forehead furrowed. “Go back where, sweet girl?”
“To my real parents’ house.”
I smoothed back the hair from her face. Her forehead was sticky with sweat, but it wasn’t even hot, and it broke my heart that the sweat was probably a stress reaction. I kept my voice gentle. “You’re never going back there.”
Her face crumpled. “Then where will I go?”
“You’ll stay with us,” I assured her.
“But where will I go when your baby comes?”
I suddenly realized what she meant.
I couldn’t help myself. I scooped her up in my arms and tucked her onto my lap, holding her close. “Ari, you’ll go nowhere when this baby comes. This baby isn’t replacing you.”
She peered up at me through big eyes. “But it doesn’t have a bed to sleep in.”
I laughed a little at that. “We’ll buy it one.”
I could see the idea starting to sink in, the thoughts processing through her mind, one by one. “Can she sleep next to me?”
I nodded. “Absolutely, if you want her to.”
“Him,” X corrected. “It could be a boy.”
Ari wrinkled her nose at that.
Whip ruffled her hair. “Hey, I’m a boy. And so are X and Levi and Will. We’re all right, aren’t we?”
She shrugged. “I guess so. But I still hope it’s a girl.” She looked up at me. “Can I go play now, Mommy?”
I froze at that word on her lips, but Whip gently nudged me, startling me into a fast nod. “Of course. Go.”
The moment she disappeared into Hayley Jade’s bedroom to play with her and Remi, I burst into tears.
Levi pulled me into his arms and held me while I got myself under control. His lips brushed over the top of my head. “That was the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard,” he whispered to me. “Her calling you Mommy. Fuck, I can’t wait for the day she calls me Dad.”
I couldn’t wait for that either.
Lynx showed up at the club gates as discussions about what needed to be prepared for dinner commenced. Levi told the prospects to let him in, and he and I stood among the bikes and cars and an ice cream truck in the parking lot, waiting for Lynx to make his way down the hill on foot.
Expression pinched, Levi watched his old cellmate stroll down the dirt road.
I squeezed Levi’s fingers. “Lynx wasn’t involved with Francine or Travis. So why are you looking like the Grim Reaper is walking toward us right now?”
