Page 41 of Crossroads
“Then?” I prod when he’s quiet for too long.
“Then she realized that even though she got a child, which she wanted—he wasn’t a perfect child.”
I frown, letting my head loll to the side to look at his profile. “Who the hell cares about perfect?” And from where I’m sitting, Emerson looks pretty damn perfect to me. Which also hits me square in the chest. His sharp jawline. The little bit of stubble I can see there. The strong, straight nose and high cheekbones. His lashes are longer than any girl’s I’ve ever seen. He’s just... pretty.
But not in a feminine way. I’m not lying to myself and saying that’s why I’m attracted to him. When we kiss—it’s Emerson—a man who I’m attracted to. I don’t want him to be anything other than who he is.
“I mean, other than you being a stubborn shithead,” I joke because the moment feels a little too heavy, and I’m uncomfortable as fuck.
He laughs but only slightly. “Yeah. That’s the problem. I embarrassed my parents pretty much from the get-go. Alwaysbeing loud and unruly. Never following the rules. Hell, in kindergarten, they got called into the school several times because I kept waking up the other kids during naptime.” He laughs, but there’s no humor there. “I mean, who the hell fucks up kindergarten?’
“Don’t do that,” I say, knowing he’s trying to turn it into a joke but sensing the deep hurt he actually feels about it all. “You were a kid. Kids play around.”
“Not Chapmans.” He swallows, and I follow the lines of his throat, the sexy, taut veins moving with the motion and his Adam’s apple protruding as it moves. I want to lick it. He turns to look at me. “What are we doing?”
I shrug, looking away from him and back up at the sky. “I don’t know. I want to hate you.”
“But you don’t.” He says it simply as if it’s just a fact.
“I don’t,” I confirm because it is a fact.
“Well, we have all summer to get it out of our system.” His head rolls to look at me, and I do the same, liking the way his eyes light up with excitement and laughing when he waggles his eyebrows at me in an exaggerated fashion. “Might as well enjoy it. You’re pretty good at hand jobs. Maybe you’ll graduate to blowjobs.” Again with the eyebrows, and I know he’s just fucking with me. Trying to rile me up. But my mouth actually waters at the thought of getting my mouth on him.
“I’m going to blow your mind when I suck your dick so good. I’ll ruin you for all others,” I promise and watch his pupils widen so much the black overtakes the pretty blue.
“Fuck. You’re making me hard again, and we have chores to do.”
I chuckle but have to reach down and adjust my own dick in my jeans, just from thinking about it.
Something about our conversation, though, just doesn’t sit well with me, even though I know he’s right about getting it out of our systems.
We both identified as straight before this. He’s everything I should hate, and I’m the opposite of everything he wants. His aunt has told me he’s here to earn his way to college.
I don’t want that. I’m perfectly content with this being my life. It’s all I’ve ever known and all I want for the future.
Which means, he and I don’t have a future together. He wants college and probably to live in a big city that would drive me insane. I want a quiet life in the country, which would likely do the same to him.
I was in love with someone who wanted different things once. I loved her anyway, and I wound up crushed. I had so many plans with Lucy, but looking back, the signs were there. Signs I ignored because I was too stubborn to see the truth.
I won’t let that happen again.
And this is all really new to me anyway. It’s very much like me to be making plans when really, it’s just about getting off. Maybe forming a little friendship, despite thinking we were destined to be enemies.
But maybe he’s right.
Maybe we can just let this thing run its course and have fun while we’re doing it.
Is that really so bad?
SEVENTEEN
“Do you think Kelly knows?” Jasper asks against my lips, making me pause. After we got dressed out by the pond, we finished up chores just in time for Kelly to call us in for dinner.
She seemed happy, but that’s normal for her. “I think she’s just happy we aren’t trying to kill each other anymore,” I answer and then kiss him more because I can’t get enough of his mouth.
I stroke over his tongue with my own and smile with pride when he groans in satisfaction, his big arms wrapping around me as we make out in his bed. Kelly thinks I’m in my bedroom, but I just waited for everyone to turn in and then snuck out the front door and headed straight to the barn.
No second-guessing. I just wanted him and went to him like a beacon. And he was waiting for me when I pushed the door to his apartment open. Lying shirtless on his bed, wearing joggers that hang low on his hips and show off those sexy-as-fuck deep lines of his cut abs.
