Page 58 of Thief of Roses
“Why should you be shunned for that?”He continued.“You could not determine your birth anymore than I could determine my parentage.I know firsthand how subjective omens can be and if you should have been honored and celebrated for that which makes you different, then an omen should not have been given credence.”
She breathed at last, relieved beyond expression that there were no recriminations or blame laid for not revealing it sooner.Why should she say anything if they were not intimate in a way that would have merited that disclosure?She had no expectation that they would be although she had imagined it, and hoped, a hundred times.
“You asked me early in our acquaintance if I preferred masculine language to describe me and I did not extend to you the same courtesy.I apologize.Do you wish me to refer to you with different language?”
His question banished her last lingering doubts since he showed more concern over doing her a disservice than anything else.
“No, Baró.”
“You said you have times when you present differently.If you wish my language to change at any time, let me know.”
Her heart swelled.With as new a piece of knowledge as all this was to her Baró who had been raised under the Great Holy, he did not fully understand it, but he did not let his lack of understanding impede his unconditional acceptance.She took his hand, leaned over, and kissed his cheek in gratitude.With the confession out of the way, her fantasies could leave the realm of fiction and become a fact.Her heart raced anew.
“Perhaps that is why I find your scent irresistible,” he theorized.“I smelled the difference without knowing.”
“Has no one ever mentioned anything like this to you?”She ventured.
“Why would they?”
“Your hips,” she said.Although he had behaved well at her own confession, she did not know how he would take this revelation.“They’re very wide for a man.Have they always been that way or were they a result of your ‘gifts?’”
“Always this way.”He glanced down though as if to verify his claim.“I noticed that other men had slimmer hips but I always attributed it to my questionable parentage, like my lack of facial hair.The fashions of my day flattered me, though, and that would have been the only thing to inspire complaint.”He fell into silent consideration again.“Are you suggesting that I’m...?But I have a...”His brows battered each other as he turned his attention back to her.“You know.A full complement.”
“Below means nothing.You may have all the equipment but....”She bit her lip.“I hate to tell you, Baró, those are birthing hips.There is no way to know for sure without taking you to a Mother, but I have suspected for some time.”
“That I amneavhiyat?”
“Nezhiyat,” she corrected, her face splitting into a grin.“It would also account for why the stories always describe you as ‘beautiful’ instead of ‘handsome.’”She paused.“You were an acolyte of the Great Holy.Does the revelation bother you?”
“My body changes constantly.”His face remained a mask of indifference.“Do you think that would shatter my worldview?”
Rivani breathed a sigh of relief.“A neither male nor female Rivani, who is not you, may serve as a better intermediary for you.”
“If you want to converse with the Magic, I will not stop you because I trust you to be wise.I do not profess to understand how gender works in magic, but She has no power over you, only me.Let that be all, I beg.If you should come to harm because you bargained over me, I will never forgive you and I will have to live with that, too, all my days.”
Rivani nodded again, her head again attached to her spine but feeling a wild mix of emotions.
“I will not compromise myself,” she promised.
They remained silent for a long while, letting the kettle whistle like a manic bird.Baró noticed first and retrieved the kettle, pouring for them.
“Rivani,” he asked as he poured, “you said the omens said you were ‘not meant for mankind.’”
Silence prevailed until Rivani recalled herself.
“Hmm?”
“You said that you were ‘not meant for mankind.’You said you are ‘unlucky.’”
“Right,” Rivani confirmed, still somewhat distant.“While they thought I wasnezhiyat, they wrung their hands but did nothing.When they saw I wasneavhiyatat ten years old, they wed me to avoid ‘a life of misery and solitude.’”
“I have witnessed weddings of young girls at that age, usually as marriages-by-proxy, but rarely were they able to conceive at such a time of their life and they usually lived with their families until years later.But a ten-year-old wed to anyone with the expectations and obligations of a full spouse does not sit right with me.”His face crumpled in deep contemplation.“Engaged perhaps, as I had been.I had been engaged three times before the age of six, but not married.”
“I know.”
“Did the omens prove true?”Baró encouraged when Rivani did not elaborate.
“My first groom was found dead the day after the ceremonies.In his revelries, he wandered into the forest and disturbed a boar.I was spared from the odious union but at ten years old, my reputation was sealed.Only a fool, it was said, would take me to wife.”
