Page 54 of Thief of Roses
“Hast thou completelie lost thy drede of me thanne?”
“You are impressive in a different way now,”she assured him, kissing the tip of his snout.“You, my Baró, are a force of nature.Just as I might observe a storm to witness the beauty and power of the sky, so I will do with you, knowing that the potential harm is such a small price when given such a rare opportunity.I would not change one thing about you for anything in the world.”
Baró removed his hands from her back and took hers from his face, cupping them within his own as he kissed her palms.
“There is no one in all the world like you, Rivani, and has never been.”He adjusted his hold on her hands and pressed them back to his chest.“If there are other compassionate and gracious beings in this world, I could never imagine any of them...”He struggled for words.“No one would treat me as you do.No one ever has.Not even before.”
“Their loss, I think.”She let her eyes wander over his face again before she kissed him once more, this time on the temple.“May I lie beside you again tonight?”
He tilted his face down, eyes closed, a brief hint of a smile pulling his lips.
“Yes.”
Rivani kissed his brow again before she pried herself off his lap.
“I have no desire to leave you but the sooner I get the furs and linens from my bed, the sooner I can return to your arms.I mean to sleep on more than just you and the floor.”
He watched her through his lashes, shyly, not quite believing what she suggested, but too afraid she would reconsider if he asked.He watched her go from the room, allowing himself to breathe at last when he was left alone.And then another thought came to him and he got up to follow her.Rivani had not quite made it down the length of the great hall, but by the time he called her, she was on the steps.
She turned to look at him, the question of what he wanted on her face.When he drew nearer, she mounted another step to make her a little more at eye level with him.
“Did you rethink the wisdom of our sleeping together?”
“There is no wisdom in sleeping together, but I did not follow you to dissuade you.I am willing, indeed eager, to be a fool with you.”
“Then what, my Baró?”She ran her fingers through his curls.
If Baró were capable of love, and he questioned his capability every moment of his life, certain that he was not, but if he were, then this would have had to have been it.He almost made that declaration to her upon his return, down on his knees, when their time of separation seemed like the worst punishment he had yet endured.He wanted to make that declaration now for he could not imagine feeling closer to, warmer toward, or more emotionally enmeshed with anyone else.He bit down hard on his tongue lest he slip.He did not say it.He would not say it.Not aloud.Not to her.He had been as honest with her as he could be from the moment they first interacted and while he felt a sensation beyond lust or passion, beyond a simple need to cherish and worship, that manifested in the inclination to defend and protect and care for with his life, he felt disingenuous to call it love.And if he did declare it and it was true, then he would be one step closer to unraveling the powers that bound him here.And one step closer to being a complete stranger to Rivani.
The thought chilled him.He was her Baró, her beast.Not her man.Rivani astounded him at every turn, but what she prized in him were those things he could provide as a monster.Those physical fascinations that caused her to touch him so intimately did not belong to the man who could leave the forest.He did not believe he would ever be worthy of the privilege to be let out among people, but even if that came to pass and he lost Rivani’s affection because of it, she would go when the year was up.He would have to be silent until then.He could never tell her that he loved her.
“Y care for thee more thanne Y have ever cared for another,”he said at last,“and thy name ys styll unknown to me.”
“Names are power, Baró,” Rivani reminded him.
“Beauty thought as you did.I do not know what her father said but she refused me her name, thinking I would steal her soul.I did not even look as horrible then.”He redirected his thoughts back to the point.“I called her ‘Beauty’ the way I call you ‘Rivani’ because, beside her, I felt every inch of my ugliness.Even after she had seen through all the pretense and pride of her host, though we had become fair companions and she did, on occasion, touch me, I never learned her true name.Although by then I would have never thought of her or called her anything but ‘Beauty,’ I regret not knowing.”
“I know you loved her.I’m sorry.”Rivani stroked his fur.
“I asked her for the braid.She did not understand why.When I offered the same, she thought the token unnecessary.”
“How did you–”
“I smelled you on it.”He shrugged and then cast his eyes away.“Would you give me a piece of your hair before you leave?”His voice cracked on the question and he swallowed, keeping himself as together as possible.“I would offer some of mine but I no longer have it to give.”
“Some fur then, Baró, for I think the token most necessary.”Rivani swallowed her own lump.“I will, however, tell you my name if I can have the confirmation of yours.”
“Baró.”He cast his eyes down.“My name was also your gift to me.”
“Before that.”
“Beast,” he said.“That is the only other I have had in three centuries.That must count.”
“Before that,” she repeated.She kept her hand on his shoulder, in his fur.“When you looked like a man, what did they call you?”She sought his gaze and held it.
“Please do not make me own it.”
“I know it already,” she admitted, “but I need to hear you speak it, to settle all my wild imaginings.”
