Page 36 of Thief of Roses
“Please,” he asked, bowing his head.“Curse me or banish me or tell me that you wish me dead.Tell me that you wish to leave and I will make it happen.I deserve a punishment greater than being left to myself, but I cannot think of a worse one.”
“Walk with me outside?”
“That is a pleasure, not a punishment.”
“I do not mean to punish you, Baró.Come.”She gestured towards the door.“We will go out through the bailey today.”
He rose in haste to follow, eager and attentive, remaining behind her when he caught up.He opened the door, followed her out, and braced himself for vehement recriminations that did not come.Still, she would tell him of her desire to leave, using the walk as a means to soften the delivery of her decision.
Aren’t you being a good little pet,came the whisper in his ear as he followed Rivani through the bailey.
Y am trying,he answered.Prithee, not now.
“Did you say something?”
He halted, hoping he did not speak aloud, and shook his head.
“Do you expect to be punished by me?”She asked.
Baró bowed his head to avoid her direct gaze, staring at his hooves and wishing idly that they were paws again so that he could feel the ground beneath his feet.
“When behavior requires modification, punishment is customary.”
“And you would have me do it by withdrawing myself from your company?”
“I am ashamed of my past,” he offered, “but I am left with little other means to rectify it.”He felt like a child again, reciting his catechism for the Great Holy.“If I behave in a way unsuitable for company, no one should suffer my ill-manners and I should instead be isolated until I can behave more in accordance with civility.”
“Speaking of the Baró I know, you have been civil, and at times, a little too good.Save for our first encounter where you were furious and I was terrified, I do not have a single complaint about your behavior.In hindsight, your intimidation was likely not as intentional as I imagined since you kept to the shadows and did not try to approach me until I agreed to it.You said it yourself,” she added, “you have no way to rectify what was done, so if you can feel your aloneness again, then you can feel punished and assuage that guilt.”
“Being offered the blessing that is your company only to lose it is, at least, befitting to my situation.”
“And is to the detriment of your well-being, I think.”She regarded him a moment longer and then stretched her hand out to him.“I have seen the fine folk walk arm-in-arm, and though I have no experience of it, I suspect that you might.”
He hesitated.
“Does that not meet with your approval?True, I am without a chaperone, but I did not think that mattered with someone previously married.Was I mistaken?”
“Not mistaken.”He moved forward, offering his arm to her.
She took the proffered arm and led them forward.
“How did you come to be the way you are now?‘Gifts?’”
“From a Rivan sorceress.”He thought about telling her of being taken from his horse, bound and beaten by his captors, and subsequently tortured for three days before the sorceress decreed his fate.He didn’t, not wishing to garner sympathy.
“And you’ve been in complete isolation ever since?”
“Not as complete as you might imagine,” he corrected.“There have been several people who have stayed here.”
“With the same bargain I was given?”
“Variations on a theme.”
“Why go through all that trouble?”
“I need the company.”He lowered his voice.“Those years where I’ve had nothing, I lose myself.And maybe,” he postulated, his voice growing stronger, “that has saved me, that has kept me sane enough to be recalled, but with each reawakening of my human sensibilities, I become aware of all that is no longer accessible to me.I am fortunate to have still retained one of many languages before you taught me Rivanic.Being unable to read curtailed any solitary pursuits and prevented escapism.Until I started coercing people to stay with me, I could not remember how to walk on my hind legs.”
Rivani started.
