Page 59 of Thief of Roses
“And since, you have been outcast?”
“My parents tried again when I was thirteen,” she said with a sigh.“A different caravan with different people.My new husband fell too into his cups on the wedding night to do anything and persisted in the occupation that we never consummated the marriage.A month later, he too died, falling down the steps of thevyardinand splitting his skull on a stone.”Rivani shrugged.“My third husband and I married because it was safer in the parts we traveled.That one was my choice though.When I was twenty-six.He had no interest in me and I had no interest in him.He and I parted amicably several years ago when the marriage no longer served its purpose.”
“So...Are you...?”Baró prevaricated.Rivani bit down a smile and spared him from dancing around the topic.
“I tried taking the omens literally and took a few non-male lovers but...”She shrugged and took up the tea to give her hands something to do.“They didn’t move me either.”And Rivani, not for the first time since she had begun entertaining intimate thoughts of Baró, considered other literal interpretations of the omens of her birth.What was so wrong with her that she longed for a monster’s touch when she desired no other?And what would he think if she confessed her desires?Clutching the warm tea, she rose from the bench and opened the door to the sleeping herb garden.She stood on the threshold and let the cold damp air soothe her burning cheeks.
The bench creaked as Baró rose and followed her, the noise of his hooves on the stone oddly comforting.He did not touch her but stood at her back.She shivered for reasons other than cold and fear.She took a shaky drink of her tea.How would she introduce Baró to other Rivani?He’s, bloodline-wise, one of us and although he is covered in fur, and doesn’t look human, and towers over everyone in camp, and sometimes finds it easier to walk on all fours, he’s excessively civil, gifted in construction, a skilled hunter, and dear to me.The absurdity of it almost made her laugh until the inclination devolved into grief.No one would ever understand even if she had the opportunity to take him with her.
Baró’s arms wrapped around her and he pulled her back against his chest.She smiled through her despondency, knowing the debate he must have had with himself about the appropriateness of holding her if he had not explicitly asked.They fell asleep in each other’s arms now, though, so she hoped he realized that their intimacy was established enough that he could touch her with the knowledge she would let him know if she wished otherwise.
“Tell me, Baró, that there is nothing wrong with two outcasts taking comfort and solace in each other’s company.”
“There is nothing wrong with that,” he assured her, tightening his grasp on her and putting his cheek to the top of her head.
“Thank you,” Rivani sighed in his arms, afraid and comforted at once.“Anyone from outside would look at us and think I am out of my mind for enjoying your affections as much as I do.”She took another sip of her tea for fortitude.“I thought this year would be dreadful.I thought once you told me you would break the contract, I would stay through winter and leave at the first sign of spring.I thought that I would be eager to go.”Rivani closed her eyes, enjoying his warmth and solidity.“I know I cannot stay bound to the land beyond the year.I feel my restlessness already, but I want to be with you.I want you to come with me.”
“If only I could.”
She lived in two worlds now, his and the life before him.And like her, he too lived two separate lives — for him part man, part animal.Maybe that was why she found a creature of fellow feeling in him.She would have to ask the Magic for a way to work around all of this, one between-worlds being to another.Rivani feared that if he could not go with her, she would be torn in two yet again when she left her heart behind.
XXIV.
With the summer breezeand the buzz of activity in the air, Rivani almost could not recognize the great hall.The draperies cleaned, the tapestries unfaded, new rushes spread over the stones, the exposed beams cobweb free, the candles sitting in untarnished sconces, the tables gleaming as if in preparation for a banquet to be laid, her quiet home these many months shone as if awaiting the arrival of royalty.If this had once been the state of the keep, then indeed it did — it awaited a Varnasian prince of Rivan blood.The possibility of seeing him, human as he had once been, filled her with panic.
Instead of the keep’s master, a Rivan Woman entered with all the stateliness of a queen.Her braids wore more silver than black, but the features of Her face were clear and sharp like that of a young girl.Although shorter than Rivani, the Woman’s figure told of a history of being better fed, and Her slender soft hands with long nails indicated this Woman’s importance.This Woman would never have to clean hearths or dig fire pits or do washing, never pull Her ownvyardinshould it get stuck in mud, never do anything but watch Her attendants perform such menial tasks.Although Her clothing was plain and clean, the garments were new and fine, not the clothing of work, but the garb of ceremony, a gold, twisted cord around Her waist with feathers and carved stones dangling from it, a full leather pouch tied to the cord.The embroidery of Her skirt shone in jewel-toned sigils with bits of gazing mirror in the brass and silver bangles at Her wrists.
“My honor and gratitude to meet You, Mother.”Rivani inclined her head in politeness.The Woman’s face warmed with the address.
“You have spoken often to Me, child.I could not come until you issued your invitation.Many nights that I have tried, you have not been receptive.”
Rivani remained wary but inclined her head again.“I have long wished for communion with You.I am, again, most grateful that You have come.”
“Dreams are the easiest way for this kind of thing,” the Woman said.“It is Our Other Reality, as real as the waking world, but more open to possibilities.”The Woman smiled and held out Her hand as if asking for Rivani’s.“Come, child, walk with Me so that We may speak.”
Rivani could not remember the last time she had been invited to walk with someone she addressed as “Mother.”It was an honor, always.Maybe the last time had been the night before her second wedding, where Mother had spoken of drafts to make ale more potent to cause excessive drunkenness and inability to rouse to the occasion,, and other kinds of sleeping potions.Rivani had blessed that Mother all the days of her life since.But Rivani had never walked with a sorceress.She did not think it would be considered polite to refuse the offer, so she gave her hand to the Woman and followed.
