Page 9 of Slayer Mom
He shook his head. “You have to eat breakfast first. It’s the rule: Never go out on an empty stomach.”
“Fine. Whatever. Where’s the reconstituted dehydrated eggs and toast?”
He handed me the plate of what had started out warm and disgusting, and was now cold and disgusting. Still, he was probably right about eating. I hadn’t eaten anything solid since yesterday morning. At least it had been healthy. That should be another rule: Always start out the day with a breakfast that will carry you through the zombies. I ate, and as gross as it was, I was starving enough that I ate all of it and then took the second helping he had ready for me. Four servings of eggs and toast, and finally, I could stand upand realize that I didn’t have my purse with me. I’d left it at Gloria’s. The last time someone had broken into my car was when Hazen decided that it was time to move to a more secure neighborhood. Did he know about zombies?
I shook my head. No. No sane person knew about zombies. “I’m ready to go.”
“First, change into a coverall and leave all of those clothes here, all the layers.” He didn’t say underwear, didn’t even look at me when he mentioned that part.
“Gladly.” I took the pair of nondescript beige coveralls and then changed in the bathroom, leaving my other clothes in a plastic bag that zipped closed. I left it there and tried not to think about going alfresco in the worn coveralls.
I hadn’t seen the old white van with cupcakes and balloons on the side in a long time. It was as bizarre as ever, particularly with Tom, who looked the same age as he had twenty years ago.
“If you change your mind about wanting to learn some skills that may be more relevant than you’d like, I’m not going anywhere,” he said once we pulled up to the motel.
I scoured the parking lot for zombies then turned to him. “Do zombies come out during the day?”
“Not often. All the human activity gets confusing and overwhelming for them. However, if they smell you, they’ll come. Why don’t I give you a knife and a calf harness, just in case?”
I blinked at him. I could just imagine explaining that to Hazen, or even better, the boys when Wat went looking through my purse for gum or a snack and came up with…That wouldn’t be a problem for very long. They were going away, but not if it wasn’t the most secure and safe boarding school in the world, at least from the undead. “I’ll take it,” I said, and he gave me a smile, the same kind as when I’d given him stitches. “How is your arm?” I asked then felt bad for not asking sooner.
He pulled up his sleeve and showed me a wound that looked like it had been healing for a week. “I heal quickly, and you do good work. You made very neat stitches.”
“Thank you.” This conversation was feeling awkward. So awkward.
He handed me a plastic bag filled with shampoo and salt and other things labelled with skulls and crossbones in different colors. “If you have questions, you can call. Don’t use your cell phone. Being tracked by scent is going to be your main obstacle, so—”
“Thanks, Tom. I appreciate it. I’ll call you.”
He reached over with a handful of bills. “For the room. You don’t want to be traced here. You can pay me back later. Cash. It helps to soak it in salt.”
I hesitated then took the money. “Thank you. I will pay you back.” With money Hazen made. What I needed to do was get a job, so I had my own money to pay for my zombie motels.
I got out of the old van, seat squeaking as I jumped down.
It was a little awkward checking into the motel that charged hourly rates, but I wasn’t going to think too hard about that. I used their phone to call Gloria.
“Divine Aspirations, this is your Gloria, speak,” she said in her transcendental tones of mysticism.
“This is Lucky. I’m at a motel over on Hansford. Can you come and bring me my car and stuff? I’ll pay for you to get a cab back.”
“At a motel? I wondered where you went yesterday. I didn’t think Matinees took all night long. Mmhm. Girl, you are going to have to tell me all about it. Address.”
I gave it to her and then she hung up before I got a chance to remind her to bring my clothes. I went tothe room and filled the tub then dumped the scoopful of salt in and sat soaking until I drowsed off. The thumping on the door made me panic, because zombies! I jumped out of the tub and grabbed the knife before I wrapped a towel around myself.
Wait. It was just Gloria. Zombies wouldn’t knock. Right. Good. I pushed open the bathroom door and then crept over to open the front door a crack. I studied her for a long time, trying to see if she was a zombie. Her purple eyes were camouflaged in sunglasses, but she lowered them and winked her long false lashes at me. They were lime green, which matched her shoes, but not the trench coat or enormous black hat that completely covered her hair.
I grabbed her wrist and pulled her in. “Did anyone follow you?”
She grinned and took off the sunglasses, tossing them on the dingy coverlet. “Of course not, dahling. I changed lanes and took one-way roads the wrong way just to make sure. So, this is where you housewives go to unwind.” She looked around like there was something spicy about the bland beige everything.
“Did you bring my clothes?”
“Of course. Do you think that I’m a complete novice to sleuthing and detectivery? I read all the Nancy Drew novels, as you know, since you read them with me. Those were the days, hiding in clocks for hours, waiting for someone to find the clues.”
“Yes. Those were the days.” If anyone could handle knowing about zombies, it was Gloria, but of course I couldn’t ruin her life, not if she wasn’t already a danger, besides which, I was going to forget all about zombies as soon as possible. “When you get home, be sure to take a nice soak in a tub with salts. What do I smell like?” I held out my arm to her.
She sniffed obligingly. “Salt and a little bit of lavender. Not a bad blend.”
