Page 48 of Slayer Mom
I sighed heavily. “Yes. Fine. I’ll ask the Grand Master to loan me some bodyguards, either vampires, or whatever, but it will be miserable. He’ll make sure it’s miserable.”
“He loves to torment you? Maybe he likes you.”
I pushed him towards the door. He felt so good under my hands. “Sure. I’m great for luring zombies. What’s not to like? Have a safe trip. Come home soon. Find Wat. Tell him I love him.”
He turned around and kissed me, sweet, persuasive, and far too short before he pulled away. “Tell me that you love me.”
I swallowed hard. “I love you.”
“I have no idea why. I’m a terrible husband.”
“Well, I’m a terrible wife. What would I do with a perfect husband?” I thumped his chest where he’d hit himself. “Don’t be an idiot. You are perfect for me. That’s why I’ve hated you working so much, because I want you around. You’re the only man I’ve ever wanted. The idea of something happening to you rips me apart. You’re right. I’m scared. I’m terrified that I’m going to lose you, but even worse is the knowledge that I’m going to ruin the good life you could have had with someone else. You deserve better than a zombie marked insecure housewife who can’t knit.”
He pulled me into his arms and held me tight to his pounding heart. “I know how to knit. I will teach you.”
“Wait, you seriously know how to knit? Why?” I nuzzled into his chest and felt almost okay.
“It’s useful and therapeutic. I can get stressed out, anxious about things out of my control. Maybe you’ll knit with me after we grow old together. I really want to grow old with you.” He kissed my hair and then went out the door, leaving me alone in the foyer, clinging to my disinfectant.
“Are you going to stand there all dreamy, or are you going to show the slacker how it’s done?” Gloria asked, laughing at me. She sprayed disinfectant in my direction to show her incompetence.
I rolled my eyes and got back to work. By morning, the house was clean, and we were all exhausted. We could use someone to watch the house. Tom had put steel sheets over the frames where the zombies had come in from the golf course. They hadn’t bothered any of the other houses.
I pulled out my phone, took a deep breath, and then called the last unknown number.
“This is the Grand Master. I thought I told you to ask me for your targets.”
“I certainly didn’t mean for my house to be a target. I forgot to take a salt soak in the hotel, or to use the spray stuff, but I’m back on track. The thing is, we’re all tired. Is there anyone extra that you could send who wouldn’t kill us all in our sleep?”
“That does sound difficult, but since you asked so nicely, I’ll see what I can do. Sweet dreams, exterminator.” He hung up on me.
I called Hazen. It went to messages, probably because he was on the flight. “I asked for bodyguards, not because you wanted me to, but because it’s the smartest thing. I’m tired. I’m so tired, Haze. I miss touching you, but it killed me not to hug the kids. I’m really worried about Wat, but he’s really clever. I think he’ll be okay. I think that maybe we will be okay, too. I love you.” I hung up and then answered the door to let in five vampires, led by an enormous female who looked like she did steroids.
They didn’t speak to me, just searched the house methodically and then took places inside and outside.
I went over to Tom and Gloria, who were kind of awkwardly close, but not touching. “What do you think?” I asked Tom, nodding at the shadow that had a mostly invisible vampire in it.
“I’m tired. I could sleep for a day. We’ll go out again once it gets dark. Do you have beds for us?”
“Or we could share,” Gloria said and then looked shocked at her own audacity.
He smiled at her. “I don’t think I’d sleep very well so close to so much beauty. It would be best if we had separate rooms, as things are.”
She nodded and looked more awkward than ever. I grabbed her wrist and tugged her up the stairs. “Tom, you take the guest bedroom downstairs. I’msure you’ll find it eventually. Come on, Gloria. Do you want the closet or the master bed?”
“Closet? You want me to sleep in a closet in a house this size?”
“You haven’t seen the closet. It has a bed, but if you’d rather take the master’s, that’s fine. Otherwise, you could sleep in the boy’s rooms, but I’d feel better if you were somewhere I could keep an eye on you. Not that the Grand Master would ever allow any of his associates to harm my med-in-training, but sometimes accidents happen.”
The nearest shadow scoffed at me. “We aren’t prone to accidents, Mrs. Darnell. Your friend could bleed on my face, and I wouldn’t taste her blood.”
I plastered a smile on. “That is so comforting. Thank you for alleviating all my worries. Gloria, come on!” We ran up the stairs like the devil was after us, dashing for the room and then locking it behind us and throwing ourselves on the bed and giggling like we were still ten-year-olds, chased by imaginary monsters.
“I still vote no,” she said, rolling over and making an angel in the black silk duvet.
I leaned against a corner post and crossed my legs. “To the vampires or the zombies? Either way, I get it.”
“Divorce. I vote no. He looks really good in a suit.”
