Page 47 of Slayer Mom
He pulled a strand of flesh or something out of my hair. “Exactly like that.” He leaned forward like he was going to kiss me, and then the doorbell rang.
I froze and realized that I really needed to take a bath, but first, get rid of whoever was at the door.
We both hurried into the front hall and then I peered out the spy hole to see the Uber driver standing next to Tom while Gloria looked around over her sunglasses like she was checking the hedges for intruders. Right. I’d asked the driver to stay. Because I was supposed to run away from everything and go into hiding for the rest of my life. Which would be short. But not short enough.
I opened the door and beamed at him. “Hello! Thank you for waiting. Here’s cash. You can go. I’m not going anywhere tonight. Tom! Gloria! How nice! You made it for the zombie apocalypse con prep we were going to do. We got all the zombies realisticallyscattered around the house, so that’s great. Come on in! Goodbye!” I called, yanking in Tom and Gloria and then slamming the door on the driver.
I took a deep breath and then ran my hands through my hair, with goo keeping the strands nice and gross. “I’ve got to take my salt soak. You guys can help Hazen clean up the bodies, if you don’t mind, because we had a school issue come up. Of course you don’t mind, Tom, you live for this stuff. Gloria, I have alcohol, Hazen can show you. Thanks for coming.”
I ran for the tub, running the water and then pulling off the robe and climbing in. I’d almost kissed Hazen covered in zombie goop and the strong scent of nutmeg. I wasn’t taking this business seriously enough. I wasn’t doing as well as I needed to do. I wasn’t capable of protecting anyone, and now Wat was missing.
I sank down into the salty water, staring at the ceiling while tears pooled in the corners of my eyes. It hurt to cry. Why would it make my eyes ache to cry? Maybe I was dehydrated, from all the salt probably. It itched my skin. I closed my eyes and then Hazen came in, holding up my passport like it was incriminating.
“You came here to pack. Where were you going this time?”
I opened my mouth and then sighed heavily. “On the other side of the world. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“Let me get this straight. You’re leaving me to go to the other side of the world because you don’t want me to get hurt?” He thumped his fist hard against his chest, making me wince. “Newsflash, Lucy. I’m hurt. I’m hurt every time you leave, but now, knowing the kind of danger you’re in? I’m sick with hurt, swamped with anger. Do you think that I’m so weakthat I can’t stand beside you? Do you respect me so little? If you run without anyone to help you, without any resources, you’ll die. Do you think that won’t hurt me? You are my life. You are all of my heart. You are everything that gives my existence meaning, but you would take all of that, throw it all away because you don’t think that I’m strong enough for that world? And if I was? If I was one of these monsters, if I became a vampire, would you still try to protect me?”
I gasped and sat up, gripping the edge of the tub and reaching for him. “Don’t say that. That would be the worst thing of all.”
“The worst thing of all is if I were one of those monsters that you want to kill? Of course. So, I’m too weak as a human for you to want, and I’m too terrifying as a monster for you to want.” He ran his hand through his hair. “I’m going to call some people in to help find Wat. You should check in at the hotel, or stay with Tom. This house has been compromised by that tap dancing rabbit.” He scowled down at the passport and then flipped it into the tub with me. “Or you can throw everything away and run. Whatever you want to do. Woman’s liberation and all that.” He left, slamming the door behind him.
What did he want me to do? Did he want me to want him to die, to not care about his health and happiness? Would he really be that miserable without me? Then why had he spent so much time at work the last few years? Ever since I got sick that year around Lock’s birthday, he’d bought this ridiculous house and spent tons of time away. Had it been my sickness that had triggered his urge to get the most secure house he could find on short notice and focus on financial stability? He’d also encouraged me to put my health first, focusing on fruit options over the doughnuts and cookies that were always at the parentactivities. Nonsense. He wasn’t that neurotic. Probably. No, honestly, I had no idea.
I stared at my passport, droplets of water sliding over the plastic. I’d gotten it for our ten-year anniversary trip to Fiji. I’d always wanted to go for no particular reason. We’d brought Lock and Wat and had an incredible time. Back then we’d lived in a smaller cul-de-sac and the boys had gone to a smaller school that I’d liked much better, and that had liked me. The woman running the school had been a hippie. I’d lost track of all my old friends from that group, except for Marj, who had moved around the same time we did. The closest people I had to family were Tom and Gloria. I’d tried to make our family exactly like what I’d missed out on, but maybe that had only fed into Hazen’s preoccupation with my security. Maybe we should take marriage counseling, unless I took that passport and flew away from everyone I couldn’t bear losing, not when they were the only thing I’d ever had.
This was probably a foster kid issue. Crap. I really did need therapy. I banged my forehead a few times on my knees then got out of the tub. It was time for me to accept the possibility of losing what I loved, but in the meantime, I had to find out what was going on with Wat and train with Hazen until we were unbeatable. That was the solution to this mess. He was strong, healthy, and athletic. And so irresistibly attractive, and even when I was spattered with zombie crap, he thought that I was beautiful. If that wasn’t love worth fighting for, I couldn’t think what was.
thirteen
. . .
When I gotout of the bathroom, the house didn’t have any dead bodies, and Gloria was spraying down the walls with disinfectant, but she didn’t have an immaculate bone in her body. I grabbed another bottle and showed her how it was done, not that she’d notice.
While I was working, Hazen came over, wearing a business suit and looking coolly professional.
“I’m going to fly to the school. Do you want to come with me?”
I stared at him. What could I say that would make up for hurting him so much? “I’ll go if you want me.” I took a deep breath. “I mean, if you want me to. They haven’t found him yet?”
“No. The concern is that he might be making his way back home. I’d prefer if you stayed here, with Tom and Gloria, maybe some of those vampires you work for so that you’re secure, but do what you’d like.”
“That makes sense. I’m not sure about the vampires…”
He gave me a smile that didn’t touch his eyes. “I’m considering turning, so maybe you should get used to the idea of beingaround them.”
I swallowed hard. “What do you want me to say?”
“Do you always say what I want you to say? Say what you want to say. Do what you want to do, just don’t blame your actions on me.”
That was a little harsh, but maybe not. “Fine. I’ll stay here. I want to train harder. I want you to train seriously when you get back. There’s no need to become a vampire unless that’s what you want. Seriously though, all the vampires I know are complete jerks.”
He moved in closer to me and brushed my nose with his. I caught my breath and stared into his eyes. Was he still angry or mostly worried? “I’m sorry to hear that. Maybe you’re around the wrong kind of vampires.” His lips were so close to mine. I ached to kiss him, to touch him, to bury my hands in his silky hair and forget about everything.
Instead, I took a step away from him. He had to go do what he could about Wat, and we needed therapy. This was not the time to jump him, even though there were stairs right behind me that would give me an extremely good angle. “The only right kind of vampire is a dead one.”
He smiled slightly. “But they are slightly better than zombies.”
