Page 37 of Slayer Mom
Tom nodded and twenty minutes later, we were veering through the dark streets in the old muffin van. I had my slayer knife in my hand. My leg hurt where I’d cut myself like an idiot, but it was nothing compared to the ache in my chest. I’d gotten dressed in the van while Tom and Gloria were chatting in front. I even put on the uncomfortable underwear, because you know, viva la slayer mom.
He pulled into some shadows in a creepy spot on the edge of the city that had a few abandoned shops, a gas station, and maybe a corner grocer’s in between old houses that had been pulled down, along with empty lots.
“So long as you keep this knife up, keep the helmet on, hands covered, you should be fine.”
Gloria looked like she’d been cast in aluminum. The funniest thing was her face mask, which looked like a helmet someone had strapped a tea strainer to.
“And maybe you can find some wild mint or something and we can make tea afterwards with your face,” I said cheerfully and got out of the van, knife in my hand. Would the Grand Master show up tonight? Probably not unless it was a really big mob of zombies. I wanted to talk to him about the weapons budget, but I also never wanted to see him again. He hadn’t marked me, but he’d pressed home the point that I had to leave my husband if I wanted him to be safe. I’d blame him for my unhappiness if I felt like it.
I walked through the deserted street and went into the first building, the gas station, and poked around into all the rooms, flashing my light before I headed back outside.
Tom was out with Gloria, and she was looking ridiculous, with bits of her bright red hair poking out between the pieces of armor.
“Let’s stick together,” Tom said with a frown in his voice. “You’re upset about your personal life, but youhave to keep your head in the game, or you’ll get taken and turned.”
Words to give a girl chills, particularly after what the zombie queen did to Gloria. “Right.” It was slower going, but we were rewarded by finding a pile of leaves that shifted when I walked past. I threw a rock in it, and it vanished without so much as a thud, then came back out at me at so hard that I had to duck. It shattered against the wall across the street from us.
Tom nodded at the pile. “This kind usually goes after weak things, kids, cats, birds, you know, small prey. They’re a lot of effort to drag out and kill, but it’ll be good practice for you.”
“It’s not a zombie?” I asked.
“Pygmy troll,” he said.
“Oh, a pygmy troll. Of course there are trolls. Seriously, this world is messed up.”
“Less messed up all the time, slayer,” Gloria said, bumping me with her metal-covered hip.
Ow. I rolled my eyes and crouched down and eyed the pile of leaves. “So, how does this go?”
“Usually you throw stuff at it until it gets tired of being attacked and then it’ll come out to defend itself. That’s when you kill it.”
“And how do you kill it?”
“Fire.”
“Can’t we just light the dried leaves on fire?” Gloria asked, pulling out a lighter.
“He coats it in his saliva, which is a flame deterrent, although that is a very valid logical conclusion,” he said gently, like he didn’t want to crush her tender, budding pyromaniac tendencies.
“Let’s do this.” I went around and gathered up as many rocks as I could find and then came the fun game. It was like baseball with a machine. One rock came so fast towards my face that I barely caught itand then threw it back, even harder at the monster. The resulting squish and gurgle was slightly satisfying. I threw as fast and hard as I could and then I found a chunk of concrete with rebar sticking out of it that I used as a kind of mace. I smashed it down then hauled it up before it could grab it, then again and again until with a squealing roar that I’d never forget in my wildest nightmares, it came out. It was small, green, and hideously ugly. Its roar grew deeper and louder while it got bigger and bigger and bigger until its mouth was the size of me.
Huh.
How was I supposed to kill it again? I dove to the right while its mouth and millions of serrated teeth landed where I’d been. I rolled to my feet and then slashed along its side.
“Fire!” Gloria yelled and threw me her lighter. That’s right.
I pulled out the small canister of flame accelerant and poured it on my knife then lit that sucker on fire.
I went a little bit crazy with it, may have ridden it around stabbing it through its head with my fiery dagger until it slowly deflated and left me standing in a pile of goo littered with teeth and bones.
“That was fabulous!” Gloria said, her big green eyes barely visible through the tea strainer face mask.
“It was weird,” I corrected and went to find some weeds or grass or something to wipe off my boots.
A sound of scattering gravel came from back towards our cars. Had a zombie tracked me already? Good. Zombies were more therapeutic to kill than pygmy trolls.
I found a nice shadowy spot to wait. When the creature’s shadow passed me, I leapt on him at the exact moment he tripped with a loud ‘oof’. Not a zombie. I rolled over him and came up on one knee, knife held out to the side as I waited for its next move.If it was a werewolf, he’d be a dead werewolf in two minutes.
