Page 2 of Slayer Mom
I’d eaten so much cheesecake. I’d have to spend hours on the treadmill so I could keep up with his amazing body, not that I’d ever been quite as fit as he was. I took a steadying breath. “I’m not angry. I’m confused. I don’t want you to embarrass me to my friends for no reason. I don’t want them to feel like they’ve offended us somehow. I don’t like you coming home late every night, particularly when I make meatloaf. I appreciate how hard you work for our family, but I don’t need a house this big in aneighborhood this perfect. I’d rather have you than things.”
He stared at me for a long time. “I guess they’ll be fine tonight. You should go to bed.”
“That’s it? You’re not going to tell me why you got so paranoid?”
“It’s just that the boys are older, and they need more supervision. I think it’s time to put them in…” He trailed off and then offered me a small smile. “We’ll talk about it another time, when you aren’t so tired.”
I huffed a breath. “I’m not too tired to talk about our children. I’ve spent most of our marriage investing all of my energy into raising them. What were you going to say?”
“You’re already upset.”
“I’m not upset!” That had come out a little loud, but the cheesecake. “I’m fine. What were you going to say? They’re already in sports and music and martial arts, but if you think that they should be in another activity, I can probably find some way to get them wherever they’re supposed to go.” I spent hours each day shuttling them to their various activities. What was one more?
“Boarding school.”
I stared at him. Just stared at him while the grandfather clock in the hall ticked and all the reasons we’d gotten a big house evaporated, leaving nothing but social clout. I swallowed hard. I wasn’t going to yell again. He never got angry, so I should be equally calm and mature.
I took a deep breath then spoke in a calm, reasonable voice. “I don’t think that boarding schools are good for children. Families are good for children. Boarding schools are for children whose parents don’t want them. Is that the message you want to send to Wat and Lock?”
He cocked his head. “I went to a boarding school.”
“Which you never talk about because you were scarred for life.”
“It was good for me. It was what I needed, what laid the foundation for the excellent life that I enjoy here with you.”
“You aren’t here with me. You’re in your office or wherever you are so late at night. I’m here, in a gated community, while you’re off making more and more money. I gave up my single woman plans to make a family with you. What would I do while they were in boarding school and you were working yourself to death? Knit?”
“Knitting is said to be very meditative and calming.”
If I had a knitting needle right then, it would go through his throat. I blinked and took another deep breath. I didn’t usually have violent urges anymore. I’d been in foster care for a long time as a kid, passed around, so I’d developed some unhealthy reactions, but I’d worked hard to get through all of that. I wasn’t the same brash and vicious racoon I’d been before I married Hazen.
“Then you can take up knitting as you deal with the discomfort of having your sons living at home with you. I’m not giving them up.” I crossed my arms. That had been very defiant, very aggressive, very unwilling to compromise, and as everyone who has stayed married for longer than a month knows, marriage is all about compromise. But this wasn’t something I could agree to. He had to see that.
“It’s already done. They start on Monday.” He said it in the weirdest way, like he was curious what my reaction would be, but didn’t take it seriously. Did he always get his way? I’d wanted to stay home with the kids, because growing up, I hadn’t had parents who cared, and I’d been determined not to have my ownchildren unless I could give them what I hadn’t had. He’d agreed, been supportive and appreciative all the way up to now.
“No, they don’t.”
“Darling, it’s done. The principal called me up this afternoon about Wat. I made arrangements right away.”
“The principal called you? Why would he do that?” The prestigious private school was a little snobbish to me, probably because I didn’t ever wear quite the right outfits to pick up and drop off kids, but the principal should have called me. I was at home for the sole purpose of taking care of my family.
“I’m sure that he didn’t want to deal with an upset mother.”
“And that’s me? An upset, irrational woman who needs knitting to calm her down? Keep going, Haze. You’re digging your grave.”
He scratched his neck and looked almost awkward. “Wat lit something on fire. You know that he’s always had a fascination, but now it’s become problematic. I’m sure the principal meant no disrespect, love. But there comes a time in every young man’s life when he must learn discipline. I thought that the private school would be sufficient, but it isn’t working.”
Wat was two years younger than Lock and had always been the more mischievous one to his brother’s calm maturity. “This is all news to me! Yes, he did accidentally light the bathroom on fire last month, but—”
“I know that you don’t think it’s a serious problem, because when you were young and in foster care, some children just acted out because they needed connection, and you want to do your best to make sure that Wat feels loved and secure in that love no matter what he does, but there comes a time when everyone has to face serious consequences for their actions.He’s not you. He knows exactly how loved he is, and he’s using that love to manipulate you into getting what he wants.”
“You sound like you know from experience.”
“Of course I know from experience. I was very much like him at that age. He’s a danger to himself and to others. Don’t be one of the permissive parents who ruins their children because they can’t say no.”
Ouch. That stung.
He pulled me into a hug, his woodsy cologne hitting me where I was most vulnerable. “Lucy, my love, you’re tired. I’m tired. Get some rest and we’ll talk about things in the morning.”
