Page 25 of The Next Of Us
His face softened.“You’ve never been difficult to please.”
“Oh, I am,” I retorted.“I’ve got very high standards.It just seems you meet all of them without any effort at all.”
“What do you want, Nadine?”
I shrugged.“Same as always, you.”
His eyes narrowed quizzically.“You don’t have anything else you want?No dreams?”
I jerked back, my stomach dropping for some unexplained reason.Dreams?
I mean, I had it all.Didn’t I?I began hesitantly, “I think I’m happy, baby.I love our house, our kids, our family, the life we’ve built, and most of all you.I just want you.If you’re good, I’m good.”I paused, watching expressions I couldn’t identify cross his beloved face as he absorbed my answer.
I hesitated before asking, “Do you have dreams?”
“No.”
He looked away.Shaking his head, he continued quietly.
“But I’d like to.”
9
Hot
Aaron
I puttered around the kitchen, cleaning up the last of our breakfast while Nadine showered.A marked peace, one I’d been missing for far too long, settled over me.
It helped that my email had been blessedly quiet for almost four weeks which was the last time I heard from her.Dozens of times I wanted to reach out to her, equally motivated by guilt and empathy, but I was the last person who could offer her comfort.
Four weeks.
I drew in a hopeful breath.That had to mean something.Maybe she was ready to move on and forgive me my part in the whole mess.Maybe then I could forgive myself.
Spending time up at the cabin, just me and Nadine, away from the demands of our life, I saw my wife more clearly than I had in a long time.
And I wasn’t even sure what I saw.
Determination and decisiveness were two of her greatest strengths.She was a person who knew what she wanted and made a plan to get it.But now, like an unfocused photograph, her edges were out of focus, and she lacked clarity.
How long had she been lost?
Wrapped up in my own drama, I failed to catch the clues.
Around the time she decided to stay home with the kids, she also took over the bulk of responsibility in raising them.It wasn’t that I did less than I did before, it was just that she started doing more.Getting involved in committees at school, ensuring homework was finished before I got home from work so we could have family time in the evening, scheduling their activities and ours around a timetable that existed only in her head.
Or in that ancient day timer she still carted around everywhere she went.
I put the juice and leftover bacon in the fridge, already planning for sandwiches for lunch before turning to the dishes in the sink.
She had no dreams?How could that be possible?
This was the same woman who stood up to her parents to follow her passion, worked her way up from the bottom at the most upscale restaurant in our area, won an internship in Paris, which she completed while pregnant with Brandon, and came back to a huge promotion.
Did she still use her skills at home?Of course.Dinner was always a treat.The cakes and pastries she made were second to none.And her bread?To die for.Not that anyone would know considering she only baked for the family.
Did she regret moving away from her passion?
