Page 123 of When It's Us
He’s not a goddamn hurricane, and I’m not some fragile thing that gets swept up in his chaos.
Right?
I swipe another baby dress off the rack with a little more force than necessary, trying to redirect my brain. Hutch is nothing like she said. Yeah, maybe he’s complicated, but he’s real. Too real, sometimes.
"You okay?" Hayley asks, her voice softer now, as she reaches out to touch my arm, her eyes reading me. "Shelby’s a pain in the ass, but don’t let her get under your skin. You’re better than that.”
I force a smile and nod. "I’m fine. Thanks, Hales." But my mind’s still on Hutch. His dimples, his quiet gaze, the way he makes me feel like I’m the only one in the room when we’re together.
I shake my head, trying to push it all away. I’m not sure what to do with this mess in my chest.
I glance at my phone. “I should check in with the boys. Let’s grab Wren and Finn.”
"Yeah, let’s get going before the baby section ends up looking like a disaster zone," Hayley laughs, nudging me when I shove the dress I picked up back onto the rack.
I chuckle, though it feels a little hollow. I know I should be focusing on finding a gift for Lexie, not all the feelings I can’t untangle.
As we head toward the checkout, my phone buzzes in my pocket, and when I pull it out, it’s a text from Hutch.
Bigfoot:You wanna grab dinner later?
I stare at his text for a moment, my heart doing that crazy flutter thing again. He’s probably being nice. But the way he does it—like he really cares—throws me off.
Ginger:Raincheck? I should probably stay in with the boys
I hate saying no. I want to see him. Should I invite him over? God, this is confusing.
Bigfoot:Ok have a good night
At the beginning of our road trip, just being in his proximity grated on my nerves. My head was a buzz of energy, and not in a good way—even more than it normally is. But now, having spenttime with him and really gotten to know him, it’s sort of startling to realize how much that has changed.
I’ve always been rigid in my routines, a list maker, type A through and through, but something about how his mind works, calms mine. It’s like he’s burrowed himself into my mind. It sounds completely insane, but I want more of it. The man I couldn’t stand (outside of sex anyway) mere weeks ago is somehow becoming one of my favorite people.
The way nearly nothing affects him, the simple ease with which he lives his life is so damn appealing. He gives zero shits about what people think of him, including me, and he lives his life on his terms, living every day exactly as he wants. It’s appealing on so many levels, and I find myself craving that simplicity, that slow, unhurried pace that he keeps.
He’s wrapped up in a cocoon of his own making and he makes me want to climb right inside there with him and never leave. And even though he travels the country in a van, keeps ridiculous hours and lives more of his summers in board shorts and not much else, he’s successful and driven, and that mixed with his carefree nonchalance about everything else? It’s sexy as hell. He makes me feel like anything is possible.
An hour later, here I sit at a small table near the back of Roxy’s, ruminating on everything Shelby said in the dress shop while the girls chatter and laugh around me.
On one hand, I’d known before going into this that Hutch wasn’t a man that settled down. And it’s not like we could be anything more than long distance. Especially if Peter got his way. But on the other hand, we’ve been spending so much time together, in and out of bed, that what Shelby said doesn’t make any sense.
Hutch says he doesn’t do relationships, and knowing what I know about his past, I can’t say it doesn’t make sense. But it doesn’t stop my confusion about the things we’ve shared. What about his no-kissing rule? We’ve kissed. A lot. Like, a lot, a lot. So much sothat sometimes we don’t even have sex, we make out. Sometimes with neither of us even getting off.
So what the fuck was I supposed to believe about what was going on between us? Was I just a fling? Or was this more of a friends with benefits situation?
I pick at the fries on my plate and nudge the uneaten half cheeseburger over, so it doesn’t get in the ketchup. Maybe I should get a box.
One for the food and one for these stupid thoughts.
Hutch
Therearestillafew lights on in the house when I pull up next door and throw the truck into park. Hales’s car is in the driveway, so it could be her that’s still awake, and not Ginger. But I’d gone home, tried to keep busy, and even went to bed early, thinking maybe it’d help shut my brain off. But I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about getting my hands on her, so I got re-dressed and drove out here. I figure if she’s asleep I can at least use the time to do a few things with the remodel.
Picking up my phone, I open up our text thread.
Hutch:You up?
I don’t have to wait long to see those three dots bouncing at the bottom of the screen.
