Page 97 of What About Us
I mash my back teeth together, hating the disappointment in his voice and the clear demand of what he expects of me. I love him, but I’m awhole, grown ass man, and he somehow manages to make what I love feel insignificant.
“Hank is going to need a hell of a lot of help come four months from now. I know you told Trevor you’d help him, son, but this ranch needs you more.”
I clench my jaw. He’s right. Hank will need help. We’ve already talked some about it. This ranch is everything to our family, but it isn’tmine. It’s Hank’s. I will help, but if Pop expects me to drop my responsibilities at the bar…
“What about Hutch?” I ask, forcing my words to come out steady and measured when I feel anything but. “The girls?” I ask. Nat has a lot going on with Timber’s Treats, but so does Hales with school and Norah with ranch admin stuff. “Did you have this conversation with them, too?”
Now I really do feel fifteen, as if I’m asking why our chores aren’t split up equally, or why they aren’t being asked to do the things I am.
He shakes his head once. “Hutch has enough on his plate with two businesses. And your sisters can only do so much. They all have a lot going on.”
I stare at him, heat prickling along the back of my neck. And I don’t? I may not run Timber Haven in the day-to-day, but I sure as hell help out. I’ve been involved in the financials from day one. I fixed the hot water heater last week. I’ve also been out with Hank, checking fences and sweating my ass offherea couple of days a week since I came back home. And sure, Roxy’s isn’t mine, but I’m responsible for it, just the same. I also have a daughter—something none of the rest of my siblings have to worry about.
And I’m not a fucking rancher. Never have been. Doesn’t mean I won’t help when I can, but I can’t be everywhere at once. And haven’t I sacrificed my own wants long enough?
I blow out a long breath, a mixture of guilt and resentment settling heavy in my chest. Emotions war in my gut. Am I being selfish? On one hand, I know the obligation I have to my brother, to this ranch. We help one another. It’s just who we are.
But on the other hand, I resent the hell out of Pop for calling me in here and treating me like this responsibility falls solely on my shoulders, when I have my own life and my daughter to think about. His insistence that I put the ranch first feels like a physical weight I haven’t felt in years. Not since Tristen left me to raise our daughter alone. Still, I can’t help but acquiesce.
“I’ll talk to Hank,” I mutter.
“Good,” Pop says, shuffling more papers and then tapping them into a neat stack before standing. “Have your mom let me know when supper is ready.”
“Night, Pop.” I push to my feet and leave the den, feeling that headache roar to life in full force.
Chapter 35
Finnley
It’s been just overtwo weeks since I fake married my best friend. We’ve had two insanely hot sexual encounters over the last week, but we haven’t hooked up since and now I’m worried.
He’s been working like crazy at the bar as well as helping his brothers out at Hank and Wren’s new house. I’ve watched Paige for him twice so he could go running. He’s been coming home later every night, exhausted, before grabbing something quick to eat and heading to bed.
I’ve been busy, too, working extra hours at Timber Haven when he doesn’t need me for Paige—even taking two overnight shifts for Allie. And I’ve been spending a lot of time alone. I’m not sure if I’m imagining things, and I know he’s busy, but I miss him. We’re not in a relationship, and it would do me well to remember this is just sex.
I can’t help but think he’s avoiding me. Right now, he’s downstairs with Paige, having come home an hour ago. I’d gone out into the hallway to switch my laundry, and it sounded like they were watching a movie and playing Candy Land. I hadn’t gone down because I didn’t want to be thatneedy woman who gets one taste and turns into a psycho. So, I’ve been following his lead. But when I’m alone and it’s quiet, it’s the worst.
I can’t get our wedding ceremony out of my head. Not to mention his face between my thighs, or the sexy FaceTime from the other night. The anticipation of having his mouth on me again is almost too much to bear. I’ve developed this irritating habit of not being able to keep my eyes off him, and I’m obsessed with the man’s mouth. Every time he drinks, speaks, or breathes, it’s like I can’t look away. I want that mouth on every inch of my body.
I’ve become completely attached in such a short time and that scares me. When things end, what will I be left with? I’ve been waiting for the other shoe to drop all week. I have this horrible feeling that we made a really big mistake and that I’m going to lose it all.
The necklace he gave me, the ceremony and all that talk of infinity—everything changed for me that day. I never thought I’d want that with Hudson. But as much as I’ve tried to deny it, I do.
But Hudson didn’t marry me because he wants another wife. God knows, he’s got enough going on between Paige and his ex-wife. But it doesn’t stop my mind from imagining the life we could have together. And that’s exactly why I’ve been holed up in my room every night this week, except for the times I took care of Paige. I can’t risk my feelings getting even more involved.
We’ve already upset the delicate balance between friends and lovers, and I feel like being around him right now makes me want to barrel right across that line, consequences be damned. Maybe the fact that we haven’t hooked up since the night he blew my mind with nothing but a chess piece, his skilled tongue, and filthy words is a good thing. It’s probably for the best.
Maybe that’s why I don’t hesitate to immediately click on the text that vibrates my phone at half past seven. It’s from Brad, the guy from Livingston who I’ve gone out with a couple of times and chat with over textfrom time to time. Texting with Brad feels a whole lot safer than having a sex talk with my best friend right now. Especially since I’m currently spiraling.
Brad:Hey beautiful. You free for dinner tonight? I’m in town and thought of you.
He was very sweet the two times we went out and he makes me laugh. Cute, in a Chris Evans kind of way. He’s not jacked like Captain America or anything, but he’s got that golden boy thing going for him: great smile and big blue eyes a woman could get lost in. Handsome enough.
I definitely have a few fantasies of him saved up in the ole flick list. I’ve never been a believer in signs or fate or whatever, but I can’t help but to feel like the timing of Brad’s message is actually pretty perfect. So, before I can overthink it, I tap out a message and hit send.
Finn:I’d love that. Pick me up at seven?
His reply is immediate.
