Page 88 of What About Us
Hudson usually only comes back for two weeks during the summer, with the exception of last summer, when he was here for six. The team has a regular pitcher, Colby, but he’s sick tonight, and Hudson is filling in for him.
Watching him play every summer has always been one of my favorite things, and he’s great. But tonight—after everything we’ve been doing—and wearing his number and name on my back as we cheer on the team feels different. I’m not just his best friend cheering him on. As I look around at all the wives of players and their families, I feel a little stab of jealousy. What would it feel like to show up here not as Hudson’s best friend, but as his wife and Paige’s stepmom? A pang of pride and longing press in on me.
I look down at Paige, smoothing a hand over her hair, and she beams up at me. I know I’ll never replace her real mom, and I wouldn’t want to. But what would Paige think of me being her stepmom? How would Tristen react to it? Not that I particularly care about her opinion.
I briefly think back to this afternoon, when he was talking to Tristen. I know he’s had to defend our relationship with her before, and he always stands up for me when she makes a snide comment. However, the way he put her in her place this afternoon was different. He was so upset.
My eyesfind him on the field again and he spins the ball in his fist, before working his leading foot back and forth against the red dirt. He spits on the ground before winding up and letting the ball fly. It’s softball, but somehow, he makes lobbing the chubby ball the forty or so feet to home plate sexy as shit.
I remember the feel of his fingers in my mouth, how I sucked them back like I was desperate for his cock. Spoiler alert: I am. His words float back to me, too, and my cheeks heat.
You’re going to look so fucking filthy with my cock stuffed in your mouth… Fucking filthy.
Will we do that tonight? I bite my lip and hope that even if it’s not tonight, that we will soon. I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to hold out if he keeps up the dirty talk. We’ve always teased one another, but we’ve never been this direct, this intentional. It’s exciting and terrifying all at once.
I reach up and run my fingers over the infinity necklace. A soft smile plays on my lips for the promise of what’s to come later, and a delicious anticipation courses through my veins.
The game goes by in a flash. An hour later, the Titans have their first win of the season, and Paige and I both have to pee. We say our goodbyes to the twins and Josie and head toward the bathrooms. Hudson will be a few minutes, shaking hands with the other team and helping to gather equipment.
When we emerge from the bathroom a few minutes later, I expect Hudson to be talking with Hutch and some guys from the other team. But his younger brother is only a few feet away, chatting up what looks like a group of tourists on a bachelorette party—all decked out in bannersreading ‘Bridesmaid.’ It figures. I don’t know what the hell they’re doing in the park, but this is Timber Forge and there are only so many things to do. Plus, if those bridesmaids are looking for single dudes, besides Roxy’s, a recreation softball game in the park is their best bet.
It takes a couple scans of the area before my eyes land on Hudson…and Erin. Immediately, my stomach twists and my palms start to sweat. I can’t see his face, since he’s got his back to me, and they’re about a hundred or so yards away. Erin’s standing in front of him, a wide smile on her face. He says something, with a scratch to the back of his neck. She swats his other arm playfully with a flutter of her lashes and her laugh carries.
My steps falter and my stomach drops.
Paige looks up at me from where we’re walking hand in hand. “Finnley, Daddy’s over there with Jennie and her mom.”
I nod and tell myself to just walk over there. Just like I did at the movie in the park. This is no different from that. Hudson, Paige, and I all drove here together. It’s not like I’m interrupting a date. He doesn’t want her. Still, my insides churn with insecurity. Why is she always around? She’s like a gigantic, human cockblock with her big tits and bouncy, blond hair.
What is it about this woman that has me second guessing myself with my own best friend? She’s pretty, tall, and blond. Exactly his type. Come to think of it, Wrenley is more physically Hudson’s type than I am.
I look down at my baggy, boyfriend jeans cuffed at the bottom and my oversized T-shirt knotted at the waist in the back. Scuffed Birkenstocks top off my hobo chic look. I didn’t bother with makeup today, not that I ever wear that much. I run a hand over my braid—its hours old and frizzy around my face—then self-consciously tuck some wisps behind my ears.
The bangles on my wrist click together and I realize how plain andsonot put together I look next to Erin. She’s a physician’s assistant and what am I? I own an old farmhouse and wait on people, change their bedding, and clean up after them. God, I really am pathetic.
What if seeing Erin again after dinner at the ranch is bringing up feelings for him? They really did look cozy up until they realized I was there that day in the barn. Maybe they talked when he got my insulin? What if he changes his mind about her and this whole thing between us is over before it even starts? Nausea rolls over me and I turn, taking Paige with me to beeline for the water fountain.
“I just need some water, then we’ll go find your dad, ok?” Maybe if I distract myself long enough, they’ll finish their conversation, and I won’t have to see them together.
I step up to the water fountain and lean in, taking three big gulps. Then, I take three more.
What if Hudson was just trying not to hurt my feelings when he said he felt nothing for her? What if he really wants something with Erin, and I’m just the best friends with benefits girl? The one he fucks until someone better comes along. The one everyone leaves. My dad. My mom. Wrenley. My ex-husband. Hell, even Hudson left me when he moved to New York.
No. Hudson wouldn’t start something physical with me if he was planning to start something serious with Erin, especially not after he married me. That wouldn’t be fair to any of us. We talked about this on the way home this morning. Didn’t wejustagree to sleep together at some point? I had his junk in my hand less than three hours ago, while he whispered in my ear about stuffing my mouth with it.
I’m being ridiculous.
I straighten up and turn in that direction. They’re still talking, but I refuse to stand here like a loser for the next however long. So, I grab Paige’s hand, throw my shoulders back, and head toward them.
Erin sees me before Hudson does. She leans in, touches his arm, and says something I can’t make out. His answering chuckle is polite, but not flirty. He must see the track of her eyes behind him because he turns his head to lookover his shoulder.
His handsome face splits with a grin and his eyes take a long sweep of my body. “There’s my girls,” he says, turning away from Erin. He reaches for Paige’s hand, and then throws me a wink. His hair is perfectly fucked up from being under his hat, and my panties go up in flames at the heat in his eyes. My heart rate kicks up a notch.
Just beyond his shoulder, Erin folds her arms across her chest, displeasure flashing across her features.
“You ready?” I say, dragging my eyes back to Hudson’s. “There’s a chessboard at home with your name on it,” I playfully knock his ribs with my elbow.
“Absolutely,” Hudson says, slinging an arm around my shoulders, and my hand instinctively lands on his abs. “See you around, Erin.” He gives a nod in her direction.
