Page 42 of What About Us
“Ok.” Then, I flick a glance at Erin with a small, tight smile, turn on my heel, and leave.
It feels like an eternity before I reach the exit. When I’m a safe distance from the stables, my chest heaves once with a shuddering breath, and I swallow back the desperate cry that wants to escape. The back of my neck prickles and my throat stings. Why am I reacting like this? Hudson is going to date, and I want him to be happy. So, why is watching him potentially move on so hard?
I’m speed walking like a madwoman, the soles of my black Chucks slipping over loose rocks. When I’m halfway across the gravel drive and my car is in sight, I hear the crunch of boots behind me.
“Hey,” Hudson calls out.
I stop walking to turn and face him, but not before I force my face into what I hope is a mask of casual indifference. I can tell by the look on his face that I failed.
He crosses the last few feet and stops in front of me, searching my face. “What’s the matter, babe? You looked upset back there. You still do.”
A little spark of heat ignites and licks through my belly at the word ‘babe’ rolling off his tongue. The nickname isn’t new, but these feelings I’m having at hearing it are. It burrows deep in my chest, making it ache. Against my will, my chin quivers and my eyes tear up again. I look away, blinking rapidly.
He waits, and I can feel his eyes on me. Blowing out a breath, I chance a glance at him but the look on his face is too much, like he can see everything I’m feeling just by looking at me. My heart twists in my chest and I look away again. Why is it so hard to just say the words?
“It’s stupid,” I say, my voice cracking a little on the last syllable.
He reaches up and puts a hand on my face. Hudson’s always gentle with me, but this is almost romantic. My pulse skyrockets at the contact and our eyes meet. My insides heat and my cheeks flush even more than they did in the stables. What I wouldn’t give to feel his hands all over my body.
Woah.Where did that come from?
“Nothing you can say to me is stupid.” His voice is low, and it stirs something low in my belly. His words give me a little courage. I don’t want to keep things from him. That’s not what we do; not who we are.
“I hate that you like her,” I say, barely above a whisper, my voice tight in my throat. “I hate that she’s here with you. I know I have no right to dictate who you choose to spend time with but…I hate that it changes things…with us.”
He looksgenuinely confused when I finally dare to meet his gaze, but I need to see how my words affect him. For whatever reason, I need him to know how much it bothers me.
I audibly swallow when he says nothing. “See? It’s stupid.”
The corners of his lips twitch like he might be amused, but it never morphs into so much as a smile. Instead, his eyes turn tender.
“I don’t like her, Jameson. Mom asked me to invite them as a favor to her parents. They’ve decided to extend their vacation a few more days, and she’s been alone a lot, working long hours at the clinic. And Jennie missed a visit with her dad. Mom thought it would be good for her to spend some extra time with Paige,” he explains. “Me asking her, it doesn’t mean anything. It’s not a date.”
“You guys looked awfully cozy in there,” I say before I can stop myself. I almost cringe. I sound like a jealous girlfriend.God. I havegotto get a fucking grip.
He chuckles, shaking his head. “I don’t see her that way. You know I never have.”
Embarrassment creeps up my neck. Still, I can’t help but wonder if I’ll feel this way when he inevitably does find someone else. “So, you aren’t interested in her?”
“Not even a little bit.” He pauses and something flits across his features, but I don’t have time to decipher what it might mean before it’s gone. “Is that why you were upset, because you thought I was into her? That bothers you?”
Feeling about three feet tall, I drop my eyes and nod. “It’s always been me and you, you know? Here, at the ranch, I mean. It surprised me to hear you invite her. I shouldn’t have just assumed.”
I twist my hands in front of me and look up at him, but his gaze is so intent that I can’t hold eye contact. I toe the ground with my shoe, looking back down. “I feel like I just got you back and, I don't know, I just… I sharedyou with Tristen for ten years. I want you all to myself. I don’t want to share you with someone else…yet.”
I tack on that last word as a second thought and immediately wish I hadn’t because it hits me all at once. I already have my answer as to why this bothers me so much. I willneverwant to see him with anyone else. Especially if it means I won’t be his number one anymore.
I peek up at him, gauging his reaction. This time, his lips do tip up in a grin that would be cocky as fuck on anyone else, but on Hudson, it sets my heart racing. He reaches out, running a hand down my arm, then links our fingers, tugging me into a hug. I drop my forehead on his chest. These little touches, although friendly enough, would absolutely have to stop once he’s in a relationship with someone. Although, this one feels different after everything I confessed.
A small laugh bordering on hysterics bubbles up and out of me.
“What’s so funny?” he asks, nudging me with his body.
“I can’t believe I was jealous of ErinfuckingParker.”
He laughs, too. “Yeah, it only took almost twenty years, and she didn’t even bring me a cookie this time. Well, unless you count her puss—”
“Shut the fuck up.” I laugh, jabbing him with a finger in his ribs before he can finish the crude joke. My pride is severely wounded at how ridiculous this whole situation is.
