Page 39 of What About Us
She’s talked about going back to work part-time helping Doc Callahan, the town vet, after the girls are born. Even though I don’t know how, she’ll probably manage it. She’s one of the hardest working women I know. And that’s coming from someone who works her ass off.
Wren washes her hands, then dries them on a tea towel before turning to face me across the island.
“So, how are things?” Her chocolate eyes are warm.
“Good,” I say, taking a sip of my coffee. Wren’s always been good at reading me, though.
She raises a skeptical eyebrow. “Ok, wanna cut the crap and tell me what’s going on?” She tosses the towel down and runs a hand over her belly. “You’ve got that sad, puppy dog look on your face.”
“You mean, besides the fact that I’m a thirty-five-year-old, grown ass woman with nothing better to do but follow my best friend around like a pathetic loser?” I pout.
“Oh, honey,” Wren quips with an empathetic tilt to her head. “We’re thirty-six.”
I blow out a laugh, dropping my hand to the counter with a slap. “Of course, I can’t even remember how old I am,” I say sardonically. “Add early onset dementia to pathetic loser.”
Her features soften and I’m grateful she’s here. I don’t have anyone else I can talk to about how I’m feeling. I definitely can’t tell Hudson. God, how embarrassing would that be?
“What’s really the matter?”
I groan. “Erin Parker.”
“Ah.” She nods with a knowing look, coming around the counter and pulling up the stool next to me. “I wondered if that’s why you suddenly showed up out of the blue.”
My spine straightens, a little affronted, but it’s fleeting. “It’s not out of the blue. I…miss you,” I lamely finish. The look she gives me is patronizing and she laughs lightly. I’m completely full of shit.
“Well, I miss you, too, but you’ve always been a shit liar.”
I let out a long sigh.
She glances behind her in the direction Emily retreated and then brings her gaze back to me. “Did something happen between the two of you?”
I shake my head. “No, but I thought when he came back, we’d fall back into our old routine. And I guess we kind of have, but it’s still different.I’mdifferent.”
“Different, how? After the kiss, you mean?”
I shrug. I can’t admit it. I can’t admit how I feel without it becoming real. It’s stupid, because it’s real either way, but I can’t go there. I won’t lose him.
Her eyes search mine. “Is it seeing them together?”
I nod, then take a deep breath. “How do I watch him be with her, or anyone,knowing things with us won’t be the same? He says they’re just friends, and I know he won’t stay single forever, but I thought I’d have more time with him before he just started dating again.” I really do sound like a whiny ten-year-old.
She chews on her lip for a minute while she studies me. “He’s been single almost three years, Finn.”
I nod, dropping my eyes to my cup. “I know, but he wasn’t here. And ever since he kissed me, God, it’s like all I can think about. And living with him isn’t helping either.” My belly tightens with my admission, but it’s too late to backpedal.
“So, tell him. Tell him how you feel. I think you’ll be surprised by what he says.”
I shake my head, meeting her gaze. I don’t know. Sometimes, I think there’s more there for him. He wouldn’t have kissed me otherwise. But it doesn’t matter, anyway. It’s a line we can’t cross. Our friendship means too much to me.
She seems to understand my hesitation. “How did you cope when he was with Tristen?”
I shrug, thinking about it. “Things were different then.” He hadn’t kissed me, and I had Jeff. When Tristen and Hudson got married, I was happy for him. I don’t elaborate, and she doesn’t ask me to.
She’s quiet for a minute and I can see her mind working. “What about that Brad guy you told me about, are you still talking to him?”
I shrug. “Yeah. He’s nice.”
The look she gives makes me cringe internally. I know she’s trying to help, but the thought of going out with Brad doesn’t do much to excite me anymore. Still, I can’t sit and whine over Hudson having other friends for the rest of my life. Even as I think it, it sounds childish and ridiculous.
