Page 133 of What About Us
Paige’s lip quivers. “Daddy, you and Finnley aremarried?” She hiccups and a tear rolls down her cheek.
My eyes burn with tears at seeing Hudson so caught off guard, his expression both surprised and hardened in anger as he looks back and forth between us. The crushing weight on my chest feels unbearable.
My eyes drop to Paige and my heart squeezes further. As much as she loves me, I’m not her real mom, and it hits me that what Hudson and I have been doingisn’t real. Not in the sense thattheywere. They were never a secret born from medical necessity; something he felt obligated to do as my friend. My pride made me lash out at Tristen and, in the process, I’ve hurt the one person who is innocent in all of this.
“Paige, I’m so—” Istart.
“Daddy,” Paige sniffles at the same time.
“Just…let me handle it,” Hudson sighs in frustration.
My gaze snaps to his stormy gray eyes and he shakes his head once. I can’t get a read on him. I know blurting the truth of out our marriage was probably the last thing this already tenuous situation needed, but I need to apologize to Paige.
Hudson turns his back on me and crouches in front of Paige. The finality of that gesture hurts, but nothing could prepare me for the next words out of his mouth and they’re like a knife to my chest.
“It was to help Finn, sweetheart.” He runs a hand over her hair, kissing the top of her head when she continues to cry. “Finn and I, we’re not…” I can’t see his face, but his voice is a strained whisper when he looks up at his little girl and speaks again. “It’s not like your mom and me, Paige.”
My stomach rolls and I feel lightheaded. I stare blankly at Hudson’s back, unable to speak. A tear tracks down my cheek, while I silently watch everything I’ve ever wanted slip away from me. My best friend. My husband. The little girl I’ve come to love as my own. It feels as though I’ve been violently shoved back into the friend zone. And I deserve that.
Tristen’s right. Family is important to Hudson, and I’m not a part of his family. I’m not part of anyone’s family. We have to end this. How could we not after this? It’s my biggest fear, right in my face. Even if Hudson wanted this with me, we can’t. No amount of longing, love, or lust between me and Hudson is worth hurting Paige and potentially losing the only person in my life who truly gets me. This is over, and I’ll be alone. Just like I knew I would be. But as much as it hurts, it’s obviously for the best.
“See, Finnley?” Tristen says with a smirk. “It’s just like I said. You’ll only ever be the poor, pathetic loser, so desperate for love that you’ll open your legs for anyone’s seconds.”
“Enough!” Hudson’s deep voice booms as he jerks to his feet, making me jump. “Tristen, why do you have to be such a bitch?”
“Daddy!” Paige sobs.
A muscle ticks in his jaw and he runs a hand through his hair before meeting my gaze. There’s nothing there to indicate how he’s feeling, besides anger. Just those hazel eyes I’ve come to love so much almost looking through me. “Jameson, can you take Paige upstairs, please?”
My last name rolling off his tongue is like a slap in the face after everything that’s happened between us. Not Finn, not Finnley. Jameson. There’s no sign of the Hudson who looks at me like I’m the most important woman in his world—his pretty girl. I’m just his best friend again. Maybe not even that, after all this. The way he’s looking at me, it crushes me.
“Sure,Huddy,”I bite out, throwing a venomous glare his way. I soften my voice and hold a hand out to Paige. “Come on, sweet girl.”
“No!” She shakes her head, tears glistening in her eyes. “I want Mommy.” Paige pulls away from Hudson and runs to Tristen, burying her face against her stomach. Tristen barely touches her, her expression slightly wary.
That invisible knife twists in my chest, but I can’t blame her. Right now, Tristen is hurting her less.
“Paige,” Hudson says, his hands on his hips. “Your mom isn’t going anywhere right now. You can spend some time with her in a bit.” The tone of his voice leaves zero room for argument, and she hangs her little head.
“Let’s get you cleaned up,” I say, holding out a hand to her again.
“But I want Mommy to do it!”
Tristen looks about as comfortable with that idea as a deer being stalked by a cougar.
“Go. Your mom and I need to talk.” Hudson points to the stairs. I’ve never seen him this way with his daughter. “Now, Paige.”
She crosses the room sullenly, leaving me with my hand outstretched as she moves past me and up the stairs. With one last glance at Hudson, I follow.
Once Paige and I are behind her firmly closed bedroom door, I’m both annoyed and relieved that it drowns out the sound of Tristen and Hudson’s arguing downstairs. Their relationship is none of my business, and I know he sent me up here because of Paige, but it still hurts. Especially after all the hurtful things Tristen said about me.
Lowering myself to the floor next to where Paige has taken up post, I bring my eyes to hers. Her cheeks are wet from crying, and she sniffles a bit. I reach out and brush her hair off her forehead. She doesn’t pull away, but she drops her eyes to her lap.
“Paige, I’m so sorry about what happened downstairs,” I say softly.
She doesn’t look up, and her voice comes out as barely a whisper. “It’s ok.”
My chest aches as I watch her. I shake my head. God, I hate what this is doing to her. She has already been through so much in the last few years. Way more than a six-year-old should have to go through.
