Page 120 of What About Us
I snort. “You’re like two years older than me.”
She cocks a brow at me. “And that makes me ancient. I’m pushing forty. Give me this.”
I think back to how it felt seeing Erin and him in the barn that day at the ranch, how she looked at him like she’d just as soon shove her tongue down his throat than talk to him. I remember how wrong it felt for Brad to wrap his hand around my back on the porch that night.
“I agree,” I say.
“But,”she drags out.
“He’s doing all this sweet shit for me. Helping at the B&B, making me dinner, rubbing my feet…” I trail off.Marrying me…
“Giving you mind-blowing orgasms,” she finishes for me, and we both chuckle.
I inhale deeply and shake my head, letting it out slowly as I look around, like I’m hoping to find the answers in the trees or some shit.
“I don’t see the problem, sis,” she chuckles.
“I know,” I say. “But that in and of itselfisthe problem. Because eventually, it will go sideways, and when it does, I don’t know how we come back from that.”
She nods and I continue. “What if we give this whole thing a shot and it turns to shit? Do we just cut ties? Walk away from each other? You said yourself that there wasn’t any one thing that drove a wedge between you and Peter—your ex—right? And sure, you’re friendly when you need to be, but Ginger, what if we can’t? My entire life is wrapped up in his.”
She’s quiet for a few beats as she studies me. “Honestly, Finn, you’ve already given into what you both want. You just haven’t named it. And from what Wrenley has told me, it sounds like you’ve both already been through it together. You’ve been friends since you were kids. You’ve both seen each other through divorces, and from the bit I’ve seen with my own eyes, you guys are great together. It’s sickening, really, how in sync you are. You have a mutual respect for each other that is extremely rare. And when he looks at you, it’s like you’re the center of his universe. That doesn’t come along every day.”
I nod, looking down at my hands. “I know it doesn’t.” I let out a sigh. “But I’m worried that I’m getting too attached; in too deep. I feel things for him that scare me, because I couldn’t bear to lose him if something went wrong between us,” I say all in one breath.
“Is he worth it?” she asks and nods in Paige’s direction. “Is she?”
“Of course, he is, and she is, too,” I say softly.
“Then, I’m going to tell you what I told a certain stubborn blond we both know and love not so long ago. Talk to him. Tell him how you feel. If he feels the same and is willing to take a chance, then jump. If not, at least you’ll know. And you have other people in your corner besides Hudson. You have Wren. Even though she’s gone all barefoot and pregnant on me, she’s still the baddest bitch I know. And I’ll be in California, but you have me, too. Together, we’ll help you through anything you have to face.”
Emotion clogs my throat. “Thanks, Ginger.” I just hope she’s not wrong, because losing Hudson could cost me everything else.
She nods decisively. “Now, can we get the kids out of the water and get back to civilization before I get a tick or some shit?”
Chapter 43
Hudson
It’s been a hellof a long day. Hank and I have been helping burn fields for a neighboring farm that is shorthanded. We’ve been out since dawn, and after a long day on my feet at the bar yesterday, I’m beat. I’m hungry and dirty, and my eyes burn from the smoke exposure.
Burning fields is exhausting, nerve-racking work, and requires a lot of focus. If the wind takes the flame in an unexpected direction, you have to act fast and think on your feet. Luckily, everything went smooth today, and those fields will be ready for whatever the McNealy’s need them for.
Even though I feel dead on my feet, I loved helping out today. The sense of community and coming together is one of my favorite things about Timber Forge. I didn’t realize how much I missed it until today. It still isn’t what I want to do long-term; but Hank and I talked and I’ll help out where and when I can.
My brother didn’t say much when I told him Pop had approached me about helping out more when the twins come, but his eyes took on a disapproving gleam, and the rigid set of his shoulders told me he wasn’t aware our dad had been meddling. He said he’d speak to Pop about it.
I know he’s had a hard time handing things over to Hank since his accident, but at some point, he has to let that shit go. We’re grown men with lives and ideas of our own and we’ll do shit in our own way, in our own time. It turns out, Jack Dover, Hank’s right hand, is more than capable and willing to step in to fill in any gaps until Hank is back in a more full-time capacity. I won’t bring it up to Pop again.
When I park my truck in the garage at home and climb out, my legs are tired and feel like jelly. My back is stiff and muscles I didn’t know I have are aching like never before. It’s just after eight p.m. and I need food and a hot shower. I know Paige will likely still be up, waiting to say goodnight. I’m grateful that Finn has probably already fed and bathed her, after picking her up from day camp.
I knew moving in with her would be tough for me in certain ways, now it’s comfortable. It feels right. I wonder if it feels that way for her. I love coming home to her and Paige. It makes the whole move, selling the bar, and everything we’ve been through the last two years with Tristen’s bullshit and Paige's diabetes a distant memory. I almost forgot what it felt like coming home to an empty house after Tristen left. Living with Finn has filled a hole in our lives, and I can’t imagine it being any other way.
The other night out at Hutch’s place, I’d almost asked her to move with us when the house is done. But this marriage isn’t real for her; it's just a means to a very expensive end. So, I held back. When this all ends, I’d still consider asking her to move in with us. She could stop paying rent on this place, allowing her to save up for something of her own.
When I step into the kitchen and see them together at the counter, colorful beads and plastic lacing spread out before them, my heart squeezes in my chest. God, I want this. I want to come home to a scene like this every night and wake up to her every morning for the rest of my life.
Maybe she’d be open to giving this a try. She agreed to not see other people while we’re married. So, really, what’s the difference? We’re alreadymarried, already sleeping together. It's exactly as Hutch said: we do everything a married couple does.
