Page 119 of What About Us
She nods. “That’s honestly one of the biggest reasons I don’t date. He’s already struggling so much to adjust to things being different at his dad’s. I’m worried about how he’s going to adjust to handle it all. Both of them, really.”
“That sounds incredibly hard.”
Ginger reminds me a lot of Hudson. She seems to have put her personal life on hold for her sons’ comfort, and even though I’m not a parent, I understand it.
Ginger cringes and swipes at a mosquito on her arm. Dusting off her hands, she seems to remember she was talking. “Sorry for the info dump.”
“You’re completely fine. Don’t even worry about it. I imagine it’s hard raising two boys as a single parent. I only have Paige by myself in short spurts, and I don’t know what I’m doing half the time. I swear, sometimes I’m just looking around for the adultier adult.” I chuckle.
“Hudson seems really good with her,” Ginger says, swatting away another mosquito.
I love that she sees that, and I feel pride swell in my chest. “He really is. He’d do anything for that little girl.”
“You, too, though. She might not be yours, but she looks at you like she is.”
“Does she?” I watch Paige playing in the water. She really does feel like mine more and more every day. I pictured myself having babies of my own one day, and although I would still love for that to happen, I can’t deny that even if it never does, having Hudson and Paige as mine would be an amazing reality, too. I love them both so much.
“Of course, she does.” She lowers her voice, flicking a glance in the direction of the kids, then back to me. “And from what Wren’s told me, her mother is…a real piece of work.”
I chew the inside of my cheek. I never want to replace Tristen, but Paige definitely deserves better in a mom than she’s getting. “She’s definitely got her priorities, and they aren’t Paige.”
It’s quiet for a few minutes, while we both watch the kids. Tate laughs at something Jordan says to Paige. All three kids get along so well, and Paige is going to be so sad when it’s timefor them to leave.
Ginger unwraps a granola bar and bites into it. “So, you two gonna make a go of it?” she asks around the bite.
I shrug and let out a sigh, then meet her eyes. “Honestly, I don’t really know.”
“Have you talked about it? Discussed where you see it going?’
I shake my head. I consider telling her about the marriage and Hudson’s insistence that neither of us dates or sleeps with other people while we’re married. But I can’t very well ask Hudson to not say anything to anyone, and then turn around and do exactly the thing I asked him not to. Besides, if I tell anyone, it should be Wren.
“You do realize that the stipulation of being able to see other people automatically qualifies you as seeingone another, right?” she says with a smirk.
My stomach flutters and the skin of my neck prickles. “You sound like Wrenley.” Hearing Ginger say it out loud confirms my suspicions as well; maybe he’s just as scared as I am to admit what it all means.
She glances at me. “Do you want to see other people?”
When we first started this, it was temporary. We’d planned to keep it strictly casual. But I was lying to myself. We have too much history and we’re too comfortable with one another for it to stay that way for long.
And we’re not just fucking. We sleep in the same bed most nights, unless we feel like Paige might need Hudson and come looking for him. We steal kisses every chance we get and although our marriage was just for medical reasons, we live like any other married couple does. We split chores like a married couple; we tease like a married couple; we parent Paige like a married couple.
And the more time we spend together—the more I wake up in his arms after a night of him fucking me six ways to Sunday—the more real it becomes. The way he looks at me when he thinks I don’t notice, and the way he knows exactly what I need when I need it, it allfeels so right. Meant to be. It feels like a real marriage. The more we experience and share together, the more real it becomes. I wonder if he feels it, too.
“I’m going to take your silence and that misty-eyed, faraway look in your eyes as a no.” Ginger chuckles, bumping my arm with her elbow.
Paige squeals when Jordan flips water on her, and Tate wanders over to sit on another flat rock, just outside of the splash zone.
“I went out with Brad, this guy I’ve seen a couple of times. While I was with him, all I could think about was Hudson and how I’d rather be spending time with him and Paige. We had sex that night for the first time and it changed things for me.”
“How so?” she asks, watching her boys, before turning her gaze back to me.
“We’re different,” I say, twisting the strap on my hiking pack in my lap between my fingers. “Afterward,” pausing, my cheeks heat and I shoot her a wry smile. “Actually,during…he said no more dating, while I’m—while we’re sleeping together.” I correct when I realize I almost said, ‘his wife.’
Her lips tip up in a knowing grin. “And how do you feel about that? Do you agree?”
I pause, weighing my words before responding.
“Come on.” She bumps me again with her elbow, that grin stretching across her freckled face. “Tell Mama Ginger everything.”
