Page 116 of When We Were Us
“Honestly, it makes me a little sad.” She pulls her legs up to sit crisscross under the blanket and shrugs. “But it’s the most practical thing. EvenifI lived here, that place is way too big for one person. And I’d rather see it go to her than just anyone.”
She turns her head and, even in the dark, her eyes are searching. It’s almost as if she’s lookingfor me to agree with her—to tell her she's right, and that she should sell. But I won't do that. Besides the fact that I don't want her to leave, this is her house, and it should be her decision.
I reach out, pull her hand into mine, and rest it on my thigh as I look up at the stars. She doesn't pull away. I guess I expect her to, because this is a vulnerable conversation, even though we’ve been holding hands or touching all night. Instead, she slides closer and wraps her arms around my bicep, resting her head on my shoulder.
Her brows pull together when she looks up at me, not lifting her head. “Maybe we should wait for painting. If Finn’s going to remodel, I mean. What’s the point?”
I hadn’t thought of that. Of course, I was just hearing about the whole bed-and-breakfast idea.
“Sure. We can hold off if you want.”
She nods, her gaze returning to the darkness of the night.
“I guess there’s not much left to do after the stairs are done, right? That's it then, huh? Everything is fixed.”
I nod. Pretty much. A few odds and ends.
A lump forms in my throat. But I don't say anything. I can’t.
“Thanks for helping with it all.”
“Welcome.” I force the word out and it sounds more like a croak than an actual word.
Silence hangs in the air. It’s like even the crickets hang on bated breath.
“Then, I can start dealing with the mess that is my life.” She chuckles finally, without humor.
That statement hits me like a cast iron skillet to the face.
“Have you thought about what you’ll do?”
I feel her shrug. “Some.” She picks a piece of lint off the blanket over her lap.
I sit with a heart that is simultaneously beating out of my chest and silently breaking at the implications of that one word. What it could mean.
I want to get down on my knees right here in the yard and beg her to stay. But I can’t. I won’t. I’ve done that before. I need her tochoose me. I need her tochooseus. Maybe it’s my ego, or maybe I’m just really fucking scared she doesn’t truly feel the same. But if she does, if she wants me—wants the life we could build—then all she has to do is choose it.
“I talked with an attorney this afternoon.” That gets my attention.
“Oh?” The single two-letter word is infinitesimal, yet it feels like I’ll choke on it as it comes out.
She nods. “He said that, given the way our business is set up, it shouldn’t be too hard to separate things. Obviously, our clients would get to choose who they stayed with after the split. And one of us would have to give up the hospital affiliation. Undoubtedly, me.” She sighs. “The condo would be easy. Derek paid the down payment, but we’ve been splitting the monthly payment since we moved in. He’d have to buy me out minus the down payment or sell outright to someone else.”
“It sounds pretty cut and dry then.”
I wait for a beat, and I feel her nod against my shoulder.
I swipe my thumb across the back of her hand. “How do you feel about that?”
Another shrug. “Derek has known most of those people for longer than I have, and he’s got a couple of friends on the board of directors at the hospital.”
“What about your clients? Do you think they would stay with you, besides the one?”
“A few would, yes. The smaller ones. But most of them were Derek’s clients first. And he’s already proven he can take the ones that weren’t. He was already working in the field when I graduated. The people we do business with are personal friends of his, family acquaintances, things like that.”
“Do you think he’s a threat to the ones who would potentially stay? Could he talk all of them into leaving you?” She knows him better than I do, but I wouldn’t put it past that son of a bitch.
“I think he will at least try, yes.” She sits up and presses the heels of her hands against her eyes.
