Page 106 of When We Were Us
He breaks the kiss and presses his forehead back to mine. There are a few beats of silence before he speaks again. “Good. Because I can’t stay away from you.”
I search his eyes, but he’s blurry at this close distance. “I don’t want you to.”
He nods. “I don’t want to fuck this up.”
“Why would you fuck it up?”
“I don’t know how to do this.”
“Do what?”
“Be near you and not bewithyou.”
I nod because I understand completely. “Me neither.”
The shake of his head is almost imperceptible. “And because I know I’ll take whatever you can give me.” He huffs a small breath out his nose. “That probably makes me really fucking pathetic, but…” Another small shake of his head. “I don’t stand a chance against this. I never have.”
His admission pierces my heart and I realize how severely I have underestimated the hurt I caused him when I walked away. It makes my stomach ache.
I take his jaw in my hand, tipping his face up to mine. “What if we just take it one day at a time?”
His eyes bounce back and forth between mine. His voice comes out husky with emotion, but his lips quirk up on one side. I notice the smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Yeah. We can do that.”
I release his face and run my hands over his shoulders and down his arms, grabbing both his hands and giving them a tug. He climbs to his feet, and I look up at him, lacing my fingers with his.
“Can I kiss you this time?” I tease, hoping to lighten the mood. “You’re kind of great at it.”
“Yeah, Wren. You can kiss me anytime you want.” He chuckles.
So, I do.
It’s nearinglate afternoon and we’ve been going all day. After our conversation in the kitchen, and a bit of kissing up against the kitchen counter, we fall into a comfortable rhythm.
We find ways to touch one another all throughout the day. Whether it’s him brushing his hand against mine as we pass in the hallway, or when I run a hand across his back while he leans in to steal a chip from my plate at lunch. It feels easy, familiar.
In-between a trip to the hardware store and lunch, Hank replaces the guts in the upstairs toilet, and I get started on filling holes in the living room walls and hallway. That job will likely take me forever considering the amount of things my grandparents hung on the walls over the years.
I’m still working on it when Hank comes downstairs to replace the doorknob in the hallway bathroom. I keep stealing little glances at him as he kneels on one knee on the hardwood, with the door braced against his other knee as he works. His head is tipped down, and I can see the top of his hat, his broad shoulders, that bitable ass, and those long legs. I wanna climb him like a tree. I can’t help the quiet giggle that breaks free.
“What’s funny?” he asks, his voice wry with humor, but he doesn’t look up.
“Nothing.” I hold in another giggle.
I’m two steps up on a step stool. Swiping the back of my wrist across my forehead, I look around at all I’ve done, and all there is still to accomplish. Jo Dee Messina is belting out “Heads Carolina, Tails California” through the old boombox I found in the garage.
“You missed one.” His voice from below startles me, and I look to see where he points, high up. I can barely make out what looks like a chip in the paint rather than a hole.
I lean over, reaching my arm above my head to swipe the putty across it. He automatically reaches to steady my legs, his thumb making small circles on my calf as he does. It feels more intimate than he probably means it to, but it still makes my skin tingle where he touches me. Makes me think of all the other places I’d like that featherlight touch.
“Thanks.”
He nods and looks around. “I’ll head out front and see if I can figure out what’s going on with the porch light. I’ve got to shut the power off for that. So, you’ll lose your music for a bit.”
“That’s ok.”
He nods and heads for the electrical panel in the mudroom. I hear him flip a breaker and, sure enough, the music stops. Hank comes striding back down the hall.
“I’ll be out front,” he says when he passes me. “You wanna take another look at my ass, now’s your chance.”
