Page 74 of When We Were Us
Much to my utter embarrassment, my vagina is also now on high alert at the mention of his tongue between my legs. I press my thighs together beneath the countertop and take another bite of my sandwich.
“So, tell me about Napa.” He picks up his can of soda, drains it, and smashes the can between his palms. He sets up and shoots it like a basketball across the room, the aluminum disk hitting the edge of the garbage can and dropping in.
Because, of course, he’s even good at that.
“What do you want to know?”
He props his forearms on the counter and shrugs, pinning me with those hazel eyes. “Whatever you want to tell me. Seems you were pretty upset back there in the truck.” He watches me take another bite of my sandwich while I contemplate how much of this to get into with him. “Why don’t you start there?”
He seems genuinely interested, so I wipe my hands on my napkin and push my plate away.
“I’ve got some decisions to make and it’s messy.” Turning my head toward him, I prop an elbow on the counter and rest my cheek in my palm.
“With your practice?”
“My business partner and I are…” Searching for the words to tell Hank what is going on without wanting to actually say the words is excruciating.
I don’t want to keep things from Hank, but this is still pretty raw. This whole situation too similarly mirrors my parents’ relationship, and I don’t like it. I know Hank won’t judge me for that, but I don’t relish the idea of telling people that Derek cheated, then have to deal with the pity I’ll inevitably see in their eyes.
Come to think of it, I hadn't felt that way at all when I’d told Finn, and I hadn’t pitied her situation either. Still, I don’t want Hank and I to go back to scowling and fighting with one another. Which I am not entirely sure won't happen when he finds out the truth about Derek.
“We aren’t exactly on the same page anymore.”
He’s quiet for a minute as he watches me. When I don’t elaborate, he sits back on his bar stool and clasps his hands behind his head.
“And this guy, what’s his name?”
“Derek.” Just saying his name aloud with Hank feels wrong.
“Right. Derek.” He draws the name out slowly, with emphasis on the last letter, like he doesn’t like the taste of the word on his tongue. “He’s the business partner?” I nod. “But I’m guessing he’s more than that, right?”
The question catches me off guard, but it shouldn’t. Hank has always been able to read me like an open book, so it's no surprise he’d make the connection on his own.
I just nod. His expression is hard to read, but the playful Hank I got a glimpse of a minute ago is gone and the color seems to have drained from his face.
He blows out a long breath and scrubs both hands down his face. He crosses an arm in front of him on the counter and scratches his beard with the other. He looks over at me. “Please tell me you’re not fuckin’ married.”
A million things I want to say to him at this moment die on my tongue. Because, God, this is…painful. A sad smile pulls at the corners of my lips, but not for Derek and me. I’m mourning the loss of laid-back Hank because his familiar scowl is locked back into place.
I shake my head. “Ex-fiancé.”
“Thank fuck for that,” he grits out, tilting his head back and releasing a pent-up breath.
When he looks over at me, I look away. As much as I do not want to be with Derek, Hank’s vehement relief over my broken engagement feels a little insensitive.
“Hey.” His voice turns low and sympathetic.
I blink up at him.
“I’m sorry. That was shitty of me.” He pulls on the back of his neck. “I just meant… I only meant that I was glad I hadn’t kissed a man’s wife.” He pulls a face. “Twice.”
I nod and I know he’s being sincere.
Trying for levity, I quip, “You kind of grabbed my ass too. Touched my boob.”
“Twice,” we both say in unison and chuckle.
He’s quiet again and a muscle works in his jaw as I watch him. He’s so handsome, it hurts. Slowly, he slides his hand across the countertop, palm up. I reach out and place my hand in his. He laces his fingers with mine, his eyes never leaving our hands. My heart rate kicks up as I remember Finn’s words from Sunday morning.
