Page 65 of When We Were Us
“I get it,” she says, softly. “You feel like it’s too soon. No one would fault you for that. But, Wren, if you feel that way, why let Hank kiss you? Why let it go as far as you did?” Her brows come together, and I get the feeling that she isn’t just worried about my heart at this moment, but Hank’s as well.
She no doubt has a soft spot for the eldest Hayes brother. How could she not, when she’s spent most of her life in this town? She’s best friends with his brother, spends time with his family, and is close with his sisters.
The laugh that escapes me is dry and brittle. “Because I’m insane? I’m a glutton for punishment?” I drop my head into my hand and massage my forehead. Then, I smack the heel of my hand against it three times fast, trying to knock some sense into myself.
“Because I can’t help the effect he has on me? Even though I was engaged five minutes ago, all I can think about is HankfuckingHayes?” I end my rant on a sigh and look at my friend with desperation. “Pick a reason, I’ve got plenty.”
“Oh, Wren,” she coos. “Youdolove him.”
I sigh, dropping my head against the couch and shaking it at my own stupidity.
“Why are you shaking your head?” she asks, gently. Setting her coffee down, she scoots over to me. I resituate myself, welcoming her arm around me, and drop my head sideways onto her shoulder.
“Why did you break up?” she asks into the quiet of the living room. I know it's a rhetorical question because she already knows the answer, but as someone who knows the heartache of my situation firsthand, she knows the catharsis it is to say it out loud. It takes the power out of it. “You and…what’s his name?”
I tense and she slaps my arm gently, forcing my head back down when I try to sit up.
“Derek. His name is Derek, and he’s a cheating son of a bitch,” I say without emotion.
“Fucker,” she whispers and pats my shoulder.
I lift my head and turn to look at her. “But you know what’s weird?”
“What?” She meets my gaze.
“I’m not even all that sad.” I lift my shoulder in a halfhearted shrug. “Shouldn’t I be heartbroken? About me and Derek? About our engagement? About him cheating? I mean, I’m pissed about the way he’s treating me, especially because of our business and who he was with, but I don't know… I just feel kind of indifferent as far as our relationship goes.”
She sits with the question for a long moment and then blows out a breath. “I don’t know, Wren. But what I do know is that you don't have to figure everything out right now.”
“I know.” I reach up and twist the neck of my sweatshirt in my fingers. “But what do I do about Hank? I mean, there are obviously feelings on both sides. What do I say to him?”
“What do youwantto say to him?”
I throw up both hands and let them slap down on my knees as I barrel on in a rapid-fire response. “Sorry I let you put your tongue in my mouth and grab my tits in a dark alley? I think you're superhot, but I’m a mess because my life is fucked, and I can’t tell my ass from a hole in the ground? Oh, and by the way, I think I still love you? And you’re sexy as hell. Also, please don’t do any of those things we just did with anyone else, because I will cut a bitch?”
She bursts into laughter and I chuckle, feeling completely miserable. She hugs me to her side, and I drop my head back to her shoulder. She nudges my head with it.
“You know you don’t have to say any of that to Hank, right? He’s not going anywhere.”
“I know he’s not going anywhere, but it's only a matter of time before some woman comes along and makes him fall madly in love with her. I’m shocked it hasn’t happened already. Because, let’s face it, Finn. Hank Hayes has definitely gotten better with age,” I muse with a bitter laugh.
An incredulous huff comes from Finn. I glance up at her, my head still on her shoulder. “What? What is that noise?”
She shakes her head at me. “Wren, Hank doesn’t date.” She looks at me with raised eyebrows. “Like, at all.”
That has me sitting up.
“What do you mean, he doesn’t date?”
“I mean, there was a woman about four or five years ago, I guess. Hudson said he thought they might be getting serious, but Hank never brought her around the family. She never even went to the ranch for family dinners or Christmases. Nothing. The only reason Hudson knew about her was because she called one day when Hank had stepped out, so Hudson answered the call.”
I stare at her, slack-jawed. This can’t be right. Hank can’t have spent the majority of the last seventeen yearsalone.
Elbows on my knees, I shake my head and comb both my hands through my hair, holding it away from my face. She can’t be serious. Besides, didn’t she say she left Timber Forge for six years after she got married? Surely, he dated someone that she doesn’t know about during that time.
“Wait… You’re telling me that Hank doesn’t… He hasn’t?” I can’t finish the sentence, my throat closing in on itself because the implication of something like that is more than I can handle right now. “Since me?Ever?”
She pulls her bottom lip through her teeth and holds it there before nodding. “That’s what I’m telling you. Nothing serious, anyway…”
