Page 53 of When We Were Us
“Yeah.” I laugh again.
“Jefferey is his middle name.”
“What’s his first name?” I ask. My water glass is halfway to my mouth as I quirk a brow at her.
She rolls her lips together and her eyes dance with mirth. “Badger!”
It comes out as a loud squeak on a laugh, and I swear I snort louder than I ever have. We’re both laughing so hard, we have tears streaming down our faces. It’s one of those things where the more we laugh, the funnier it gets.
“Wait, wait,” I say with a wheeze as I lean forward. Finn’s laugh becomes nothing but a soundless open-mouthed gape, tears leaking out the corners of her eyes and running down both cheeks. “Bunny, Bambi, and…Badger?!”
She nods furiously and blurts, “Boleslaus!”
I shake my head, brows dipping low as I stare at her. Laughter shakes my whole body at this point, and we are drawing all sorts of attention with our out-of-control giggling.
“B–Badger Boleslaus!” She cackles, her head tipping back, and I snort, trying like hell to get my laughter under control. It’s no use.
“Please tell me you kept your maiden name.” I deadpan as our chortling finally dies down and we grin at each other across the table.
“You better believe I did,” she says. “And I’m sure you can imagine how well that went over with good ol’ Chip and Bunny.” She smirks and I laugh.
Then, she sobers some. “So, what are you going to do about work? About your ex?”
I shrug and sigh. “I don’t really know yet. I mean, obviously, it's over. He’s trying to make things difficult.”
“Of course, he is,” she says, rolling her eyes.
“It’s kind of like you said, it’s been a long time coming. Although, I should have seen it sooner. Not the cheating part, just the lack of happiness part. I’ve just been so focused on my career that I think I settled for something that I didn’t even realize wasn’t healthy.”
“I get it.” She nods. “Not the career part, but the rest of it. You know, sometimes I think because my dad was never in the picture, I didn’t really have a good measure of what a healthy relationship was, you know? My mama rarely dated, and she never brought guys around when she did. I guess I just figured what Jeff and I had was the way it was for everyone.”
“Exactly. My parents were the poster children for unhealthy relationships. I don’t know how many times she actually cheated on him.” But I didn’t think I needed to know that to see just how messed up they were. “And then, when she left, he was such a mess.”
Ultimately, her infidelity was the final nail in the coffin of their very tumultuous marriage. Sure, I’d had a great example of marriage in my grandparents, but I had already lived six years watching my parents tear one another apart with their words. Although, they were never physical with one another. By the time I was old enough to understand half of what went into making a relationship work, I was out of Timber Forge and starting a new life in California.
“I remember,” she says.
Finn had been there before my mother left, and even though we were young, her not having a dad around and the departure of my mom sort of bonded us together in a way that nothing else would. We were inseparable from kindergarten until I left for college. Thinking about it now makes me sad that we ever lost touch, and I tell her so now.
“I should have tried harder to stay in touch with you when I left.” She watches me intently and I have to look down at my hands. It’s just one more thing I feel guilty over. But Finn doesn’t miss a beat.
“Hey, we were young. You were busy, and it goes both ways. I was so wrapped up in Zach then, remember?” She smiles wistfully and then laughs. “First loves, man. It’s something else.” She clicks her tongue with a laugh.
I smile softly at her. She must see something else in my expression because she narrows her eyes at me and tilts her head.
“What?” She tips her glass up to drink.
“Speaking of first loves…” I decide to confide one more tidbit to her and blurt it out before I lose my nerve. “I think I’m still in love with Hank.”
Her eyes bug out and she chokes on her water. Gabbing frantically for her napkin, she tries to stop water from spraying across the table. She fails miserably and soaks her shirt.
I pull a face and look around. “Sorry, I didn't mean to spring that on you. I kind of just realized it myself.”
“Wait, what?” She gives her head a small shake and blinks over at me. “Back this truck up. Did something happen between you two?”
“Nothing like that.” I nervously run a hand through my hair. Even now, I wonder if I’ve maybe misread all the tension between us, creating something that isn’t really there because I’m feeling vulnerable with everything going on. Or maybe I just can’t believe I admitted it out loud.
“I just feel like there’s something there, you know? At first, things were strained between us, but every time I see him, I just feel this insane pull toward him.”
