Page 139 of When We Were Us
“Stop it. Someone is going to hear you,” I whisper.
Finnsnorts. “Trust me, nobody needs me to tell them you two are shacking up.”
“Shh!” I tell her, casting a glance over my shoulder again.
“Fine,” she says with a fake, little pout, but it’s gone just as quickly as it came. She lowers her voice so it's barely above a whisper as she asks, “Have you guys talked about you staying?”
I slide my gaze to hers and nod. “Let’s talk after dinner.”
She nods and squeezes my arm with a grin. “Ok.”
I set the pot on the counter to await the corn. Turning to face the room, I lean back against the counter, and Finn does the same. I can feel her gaze on me periodically as I look around.
Hudson and Hutch are giving each other crap again, with Hayley laughing between them. Nat and Norah, still at the table, are laughing at something Paige just said. I sweep my gaze to the big picture window overlooking the deck, and my heart squeezes when my eyes land on Hank. His arms are crossed over his chest as he talks to his dad. It's as if he senses me watching him and he tips his chin up with a smile when our eyes connect through the window.
Growing up, Finn and I spent a lot of time together. With the exception of that, being just me and my grandparents in our place, while full of love, it was quiet in comparison to the bustle of a house full of siblings. I didn’t get to experience any of the friendly—and sometimes not so friendly—sibling rivalry the Hayes kids had and still do.
It’s barely been a month, but I feel like I am more a part of their family than I ever was when Hank and I were together before. Sure, there were bonfires on Fridays and riding all over the Hayes’s property on ATVs and dirt bikes, but this feels different.
Maybe that’s the thing about time and distance. As you get older, there’s a clarity that comes of what truly matters, but I honestly can’t imagine my life without them in it. In a very short time, I already have a fondness for all of them that has only deepened the more time I spend withthem. This loud, funny, nosy family feels like mine.
Even before I left Timber Forge seventeen years ago, I had a picture in my mind of what I wanted my life to look like. Go to school, graduate, and start my own practice. Then and only then, I would find someone to settle down with, and we’d buy a condo in the city, where we wouldn’t have to worry about taking care of a yard or upkeep. We’d travel and spend all of our time off together. We wouldn't fight, wouldn't hurt one another, and we’d live happily ever after.
Looking back, I realize I had gotten exactly what I had always wanted, minus the hurt. Derek and I never fought, and kids had never been part of the equation. Not because I didn’t want them, but because I truly never thought about it. It wasn’t a conscious decision not to have them; I’d just been so busy being the best vet that I could, that it didn’t matter to me. Veterinary medicine fulfilled me.
Maybe being an only child had something to do with it as well, but as I look around at all of Hank’s siblings, I realize that I may have missed out on one of the biggest joys in life. My eyes land on Paige, and then I let them roam back to Hank, who’s still outside.
I can't help but wonder if he regrets not having kids. It makes me sad to think that I could have been one of the deciding factors in him not finding someone to do that with.
I watch as Hank comes back into the kitchen, pulling me from my thoughts. When he announces the meat is done, we all file out to the deck to eat, bringing the dishes piled with food as we go.
Hank pulls out a chair for me. As I sit, he leans over and presses a kiss to my cheek. “You ok?”
“Yeah, I’m good,” I say as I give him a reassuring smile and squeeze his arm.
The table is practically groaning under the weight of all the food. It’s loud but cozy with eleven of us crammed around an eight-seater table, much like it was the last time Finn and I were here for dinner. However, tonight feels different when Hank takes my hand under the table and rests our clasped hands on his thigh.
After dinner, I lean into Hank when he drapes an arm over the back of my chair, while Duke and Emily recount stories of when the ranch was half the size it is now. Moving cattle was both easier and harder than it is now, due to a growing herd and more pastureland. I get the feeling that Hank’s siblings have heard these stories dozens of times, and that maybe they might be more for mine and Finn’s benefit than anything else. But they all listen intently and add little tidbits here and there about funny things that have happened over the years.
From there, we move to the grass for a couple of rowdy rounds of cornhole, splitting into two teams. When things go from a simple game of cornhole to HORSE, in which the beanbag has to make it in a hole to count, I get to see firsthand just how ruthless Hayley and Norah are. It's all in good fun, but they are two of the biggest shit talkers I’ve ever met, razzing their brothers. At one point, Hayley even launches herself onto Hutch’s back to try to throw him off course while he takes his shot.
Our sides are on fire from laughing by the time we’re settled around the fire. Hudson and Hutch take turns telling a scary story improv style that is funny more than scary, and it’s not long before our laughter turns to sleepy smiles and yawns.
Hank puts out the fire and Hutch starts gathering chairs with Nat and Norah.
Hudson and Paige have a ten o’clock flight in the morning, and they’re staying in town with Finn so she can take them to the airport. So, Paige and Finn go upstairs to get her bags while Hudson and I gather empty glasses and beer bottles, taking them inside to the kitchen.
Once we’re alone, Hudson turns to me.
“It was really good seeing you again, Wren.” He’s loading glasses into the dishwasher while I recap soda bottles and put away a few liquor and wine bottles.
“Yeah, I’m really glad we got to catch up. And Paige is freaking adorable. You’re doing awesome with her, I can tell.” I pause and turn to face him. “Well, except for the whole Hank wanting to get into my pants thing,” I joke.
He laughs. “Yeah, she has a tendency to eavesdrop.” He makes anoopsface and then smiles. “She’s not wrong though.”
I shoot him a look and he cackles.
As he starts the dishwasher, I take a seat at the counter to wait for Hank to come in from outside.
