Page 59 of Married to the Forbidden Duke
She attempted to sort through her feelings about this turn of events. When she’d agreed to let him lie with her, she had justified it by telling herself it did not mean she would forgive him. But despite everything, something had changed between them.
Did physical intimacy always beget such tenderness?
She rolled over in his arms to see his sleeping face inches from hers on the pillow. His eyelashes fanned across his cheek, and she traced the lines of his face, softened by sleep. He certainly was a handsome man. And yesterday, he had confessed to having no lovers or mistresses. No one but her in his life after he had sworn vows to that effect.
The thought brought a wave of relief with it, which she told herself was foolish. She had never asked for his affection. Certainly never craved it.
And yet now…
How had things shifted so dramatically in such a short space of time?
His eyelids fluttered, and drowsy blue orbs met hers. He blinked a few times, and the arm that now curved around her back, tightened, drawing her closer to him. “Good morning…” he croaked. “At least, I presume it is still morning.”
She started to rise, to seek the clock that ticked on the mantelpiece, but he held her back down.
“Don’t,” he rasped, pressing a sleepy kiss to her cheek. “You’ll ruin the moment.”
“The… moment?”
“Waking with you in my arms.”
“Why did you stay?”
“Did you want me to leave?”
“I’m not accustomed to sharing my bed.”
He gave a smug smile and closed his eyes again. “You slept well enough.”
That was no doubt thanks to the activities that had preceded her sleep, and nothing to do with the large, warm man beside her.
“What makes you think you have the right to stay in my bed?” she demanded. “I allowed you certain privileges yesterday, but that doesn’t mean we can go around pretending we are madly in love.”
“Not madly in love,” he murmured, “but you can hardly deny that last night changed nothing. I’ve seen you in the throes ofpleasure. I granted you liberties with my body I have offered no other woman, and you granted the same to me. Weareforever changed. Our marriage is legitimate.” He kissed her forehead, his mouth soft and warm. “And you don’t hate me, darling.”
She scowled, although something about the kiss to her forehead melted her insides. “I can try.”
“Youcan,” he agreed, humor sparking in his eyes. “And if you succeed, despite my best efforts, then be sure to let me know.”
Guilt swamped the warmth in her chest. “Do you think we’re making a terrible mistake?”
“In what way?”
If she allowed herself to be with him, did that mean she was betraying her parents? She ought to hate him. Punish him until the end of time. She ought to hold fast to her ideals.
He had blown those ideals into the water.
“A moment,” he murmured, and brought his forehead to rest against hers. “Let me gather my thoughts. There are other things I would rather do to you, and I need to convince my body that now is not the time.”
Despite herself, the thought of those other things made her shiver.
But if she engaged in them with him, she risked opening her heart still further.
“You want to hate me, because you think by keeping your hatred alive, you will be keeping your parents alive.” He spoke the words so softly, she almost didn’t catch them, but when she did, they plunged her into ice water.
That is precisely what she had been doing. What she had thought.
“But tell me something, Alice, and be honest with me, if you can. I know I’m not the person you’d want to speak to about this, but I feel about it almost as strongly as you.” He tucked a strand of tangled hair behind her ear. “What do you think your parents would want for you?”
