Page 70 of Let It Snow
"That’s how it might look, how it manifests, but it’s only a side effect of the essence of who I truly am. I’m actually a mage of energy. You are a hylomancer, and I could be called a rheomancer. I control the flow of energy."
My eyes have to be big like saucers.
"So cool!"
"Light is energy, ice is the slowing of vibrating water particles, and fire is their avalanche-like acceleration. Even pleasure is energy. And both past and future events depend on the flow of energy, because the timeline always rushes forward, carrying its own momentum."
I listen, stunned, then whisper,
"That’s just… amazing! So energy… is your thing. In a way, it’s the opposite of what I can do as a hylomancer. I can shift solid particles in any direction, and you can change their energetic state. Fascinating, fascinating…" I scratch my chin, struck by how our powers seem opposite but also… complementary. Energy and matter, and after all… E=mc², right?
Maybe together we would be… a synergy?
For a while we both eat, but my head is spinning with even more chaotic questions, tumbling from the personal to the universal, and out of them one pushes to the front.
"Don’t you ever think you were meant for more than just a modest life in the Nolans’ estate?"
Snow’s face turns briefly melancholic before he answers.
"And what would that be, the life waiting for me out there? Being a freak? A military experiment?"
I gasp loudly, because it’sexactlywhat was always the scariest part for me too.
Snow inhales, a little wistfully.
"For someone like me, it would be easy to surrender to dreams of power, maybe even let them consume me. But I’venever wanted my powers to rule my life or dictate my decisions, because I knew sooner or later I’d hit obstacles I couldn’t cross. That’s how reality works, that’s how the universe works. Every poison has its antidote, every action has a reaction, and I’ve always seen that obstacle ahead of me. I call themblind spots. It forces a certain humility and caution on me. There’s a reason they say you don’t play with fire, because eventually… you burn. I wouldn’t want to allow myself arrogance, though sometimes it comes easily… sometimes it’s hard to resist. It’s my weakness, and I have to fight it."
I stay quiet for a moment, looking at our fingers that keep brushing. Snow’s thumb moves softly over the back of mine.
I feel excitement; I’m sitting across from someone who is struggling with dilemmas similar to mine.
And that suddenly ends… a part of my loneliness.
"People say that if you want to know a man’s true nature, just give him power," I whisper. "I’m scared of the moments when that power rises inside me, when it feels like all limits fall away. It terrifies me. Sometimes the force I carry within feels impossible to control…" I hesitate, but Snow listens closely.
Our eyes stay locked the whole time.
I sigh and add, "What is power without morality to guide it? It can destroy, it can bring suffering to so many. If I ever faced the ultimate choice, would I pass the test? Would I choose myself, or others?"
"In a way, you already had a situation where you passed that test, Summer, the day you were kidnapped."
"But I never really faced it, never actually was put in a situation where I had to unleash all my power. What if I got upset and it took advantage of me, consumed me, corrupted my soul?"
Suddenly, Snow cuts himself off, hesitates, then says, "Something’s coming."
For a moment I don’t understand what he means, still caught up in his last words, wanting him to continue.
"I don’t get it."
"What’s coming can’t hurt us, but it can threaten other people’s lives."
"I still don’t understand," I mumble, glancing around to see what is supposedly coming.
Snow lifts his head and looks at the ocean beyond the glass dome that shields the restaurant from the pressure of the sea.
Small electric submarines drift past from time to time, rentals from the oceanarium with a guide steering them. Usually six people or so sit inside, cruising along to watch marine life.
Now I notice one of those subs drifting off course, veering away from the reef and toward the dome, moving faster and faster.
