Page 172 of Let It Snow
But it’s accompanied by a strange, almost sickening relief that spreads through my mind like a blot of light.
"Wait… it means I wasn’t killing them of my own volition?"
"Oh, don’t get too easy on yourself, Summer! You said it yourself. You felt you were doing it, out of revenge… fueled by rage and fury. The destruction was inevitable since you were dying, but it was very much approved by your heart."
My lips tremble, but I force myself to steady them.
"You know what they say… it’s the intention that matters!" Bay smirks.
I swallow hard. He’s right. No escape, huh? I guess there’s no complete redemption for me. Still, the fact that it would have happened anyway, regardless of my rage or my hunger for revenge, gives me a small, guilty relief and raises one more important question.
"So… if you hadn’t told me to reverse it, a minute later I would have been—?"
Bay lifts his hand and makes a fluttering motion, like a butterfly taking off.
"Poof!"
And he laughs, as if it was a funny thing.
Vomit almost rises in my throat.
I need something, anything, to make all of this a little… more bearable.
"I can’t figure out why you wanted so badly to behalfof a soul. But that’s not my place to judge. Especially since, ironically, it’s what saved you both, Summer."
"Wait, what?"
Bay nods.
"You couldn’t haveabsorbed his powerwithout it. You instinctively wanted to stop his energy from escaping as he was dying, and without it, while being separate souls, you couldn’t have turned back time." He gives a light shrug. "So maybe there’s something deeper in it? Maybe your obsession had… a larger purpose? And it saved you both in the end."
"My obsession saved us…?" I mumble; my lips feel numb.
Bay turns as if to leave.
"Think about it. It’s almost like your soul carried a shadow of Snow’s prophetic gift. Remember your disappointment? Your despair? You nearly lost your mind over it.‘I want us to be True Mates!’And because of that, poor Snow did what he could to grant your wish. Ah, what love can do…! Your whining pushed him into merging your essence. And it turned out… that’s theonly reasonyou both walk among the living now."
He smirks at me and… walks away.
Just like that, leaving me in complete disarray, swaying slightly, kind of feverish from shock.
Wow.
Just wow.
That’s a lot. An overwhelming flood of information now bubbling in my head, churning like waves over a sandbar. But above all, one hopeful thought slowly rises to the surface. Could there have been a method to my madness after all?
Could it be that in all that chaos, in those emotionaloutburststhat tore through me, there was some greater purpose, something that turned out to be our…lifeline?
But I don’t have much time to think.
A few seconds after Bay vanishes down the shadowed path to his house, I hear a faint rustle behind me.
Snow steps out from behind Bay’s car, his violet eyes calm as they meet mine.
"You heard it all?"
He slowly nods.
