Page 114 of Let It Snow
"How do you know all this?" I scream. "Not from your vision, right?!"
"Not all."
The silence is deep. Except for me, sobbing.
"Snow called me. He told me a lot. Also, where to pick you up from the airport. He didn't justignoreyou leaving."
I almost fold in half, tears streaming down my face. I turn and bolt from the room.
Too much, too much.
I want it to stop.
I reach the doors leading to the terrace, but of course they’re locked. The ever-present security. I stretch out my hand, and in the blink of an eye they crumble into dust. I burst outside, the rain and wind hitting my face like salvation.
I run toward the ocean, following the path that leads to a set of stairs. At the bottom, there’s the inevitable wall, cameras, and a gate—of course there is—but I can handle that.
After all, I’mnot human.
Something I should probably admit to myself and finally face. Or slap myself with it. Hard. So I’ve forever given up any dream of ever being normal.
I pull the air around me and leap over the fence.
Then I race straight for the sea.
Rain lashes my face like cold, stinging whips, floods my eyes, and mixes with my tears. I’m sobbing, because there’s nothing left in me but despair. All I can do is cry, because I hate my life, my fate.
Why couldn’t I have been born just anyone, into some typical family? Found a job, a husband, had a few kids, and surrounded myself with the small comforts of everyday life…? I want that so desperately, so much it tears my heart apart.
I don’t want to be an alien, an oddity, a monster meant to bring another generation of beings into the world, capable of destroying it, and many people along with it.
Moon said it himself, that I truly carry the seed of destruction inside me. Like any power, I have my dark side. I’m a gate through which mayhem can pass.
I fall to my knees, fingers digging into the sand, sifting it through my fingers as I sob, loud and desperate.
Abomination… that’s what I am.
A faint glow falls over my hands, half-buried in the sand.
Slowly, I lift my eyes.
The sun has broken through the clouds. It’s off to my left, in an unexpected place, rising from the beach…
Wait.
The sun?
Through the sheets of rain, something is coming toward me.
It shines like a real star.
What is that… who is that?
From behind the clouds… the sun will come out…I murmur to myself without thinking.
And then I recognize him.
LIVING CRAZY
