Page 110 of Let It Snow
I don’t know. And Moon doesn’t seem to know either. Which makes sense. He sees paths, not explanations. His visions are open to interpretation.
Slowly, I head back inside, upstairs to the room where Moon sits in the armchair, still chestfeeding Lux.
I freeze in the doorway. Our eyes meet.
His face flushes.
"Can I?" I ask, my voice a little shy.
"Okay."
The image is staggering. The man I remember, destroyed by years of drugs, with his wild eyes, hollow cheeks, and mad rambling words. Now he sits here, serene, holding his baby to his chest. The contrast is almost unreal.
Honestly, seeing it, I can’t blame him for the choices he made. He crawled out of hell into a paradise.
Would I take that chance, knowing what he knew? If I were in his position? Would I risk so much?
I move closer, looking down at the tiny head of his son, nursing calmly. One small hand rests on Moon’s chest, a perfect little fist.
My heart clenches. Maybe one day I could be a parent too?
At least… this could be normal!
My one, last hope.
Last shot atnormalcy…
Being a dad.
I see the bliss on Moon’s face as he strokes his son’s back with slow, tender motions.
"Do you find parenthood… satisfying? Is it what you wanted?"
Moon lifts his head and smiles.
"You know, as omegas we’re taught to chase careers, to find fulfillment that way, to make it our highest value. I believed that for a long time. But you know what our core programming really is? You can deny it, you can hate it, you can try to reject it. But it’s creation. Nature built us for it, made us best at it."
"You mean the aliens designed us that way," I mutter with a sour grin.
"Call it what you want. It’s the same powerful instinct that lived in women before, maybe even stronger in us because of our higher hormone levels. Civilization tells us to turn our backs on it, that it has no value, that breeding is primitive, almost shameful. But for me, it’s the opposite. It’s deep, it’s incredible, it’s given me things I never thought I’d find. Feelings, states of mind, challenges that shape me as a person in ways I never would’ve discovered otherwise. Only when you take responsibility for someone else do you finally understand responsibility for your own life, Summer. And you grow up, mature."
"Uh… sounds super smart," I mock him. "My little brain doesn’t get it."
"Maybe someday it will," he says with a trace of sadness. "Taking on duties that feel too heavy, too draining, like they strip away all your time for yourself… teaches you something infinitely important. A lesson nothing else can teach."
"Throw me this pearl of wisdom, since I still don’t get it," I mutter with a crooked look.
"By creating, building, and raising others, you’re doing the same for yourself. It’s a symbiosis, Summer."
I decide not to push him, because he’d think I’m a brat. Truth is, I still don’t really get what he means, whatever strange ‘deep’ hint or metaphor he’s trying to drop.
But one thing is undeniable. Watching him feed his son, the longing inside me, timid as it is, only grows stronger.
I walk to the window, my mind filling with just one thing. Well, a person.
Snow. My alpha.
Can I even call himmine? He’s not my True Mate, but still… I need him. To see his face, his beautiful face, to feel his soft touch on me when I pretended to sleep, it seemed almost… loving.
