Page 5 of The Day After Christmas
‘What’s she done now?’
‘Who?’ said Felicity.
‘Bex, of course.’
‘Oh. No. Nothing. I’m just struggling a bit today, that’s all.’
Without another word James put down his knife and fork, stood up, pulled Felicity out of her seat and into an embrace against his broad chest. He manoeuvred her into the easy chair in the corner, still embracing her, and she snuggled close and swallowed back tears. There was a little chirrup from the floor beside them and up jumped little Holly, their youngest cat,immediately purring, and flopping straight down onto Felicity’s chest as if she knew that’s where the pain was.
‘I got you,’ James whispered into Felicity’s hair. ‘See?’ He indicated the cat. ‘We got you.’
Felicity nodded against him, stroking Holly absent-mindedly behind her ears. ‘I know. And I’m so lucky to have you all and this house and my amazing job and everything. It’s just…’
‘I know,’ whispered James. ‘I know.’
Felicity took some deep breaths and tried to sit with her feelings for a moment or two. It wasn’t easy.
They hadn’t even been trying for a baby. When they met just a year and a half ago, James turning up at the door of the cat rescue centre dressed as a giant penguin, looking all soggy and yet somehow ridiculously sexy, with a tiny Holly kitten in his arms, Felicity had been in such a state of confusion over Adam it had taken her some time to let down her guard. To let this handsome Penguin Man into her life. But when she finally did, oh how they fell for each other. They were totally and utterly in love, such as Felicity had never known. And how completely delighted they had been when Felicity fell pregnant.
At least, James had been delighted. Over the moon. Cock-a-hoop. All that stuff. Felicity, meanwhile, had been rather more cautious. Stunned was the word, perhaps. She took three pregnancy tests just to be extra, extra certain, and then walked out of the French doors into the garden and blinked at the early evening moon as if she could find answers on its puckered surface.
James had given her a moment of contemplation, then followed her outside, wrapped his strong arms around her just as he was doing now and assured her in a low whisper that despite the past, despite her trust issues and her nightmare family, despite her appalling track record with men, she wouldbe an incredible mum. She had even started to believe it too. Until the night she woke and knew something was wrong.
A scan confirmed their deepest fears and although Felicity tried to tell herself it obviously wasn’t meant to work out this time or perhaps it was for the best anyway given how new their relationship was, and all the other nonsense that people try and tell themselves in such a moment, she knew she would never be the same.
‘Come on,’ said James now, bringing her back to the present. ‘Let’s go to bed.’
She obediently let him lead her upstairs and she wriggled down amongst their three gorgeous, rescued cats as if on autopilot. James was snoring within seconds, but Felicity? Of course not. Felicity lay there torturing herself over the upcoming horror that was Bex and Adam’s wedding and wondering whether she’d ever feel normal again.
CHAPTER 4
‘Morning,’ said Andrea the next day, as Felicity started her shift at Animal Saviours, the animal rescue centre where it all began. Felicity gave her a tight smile and headed into the break room to put the kettle on. Andrea, her enigmatic boss, complete with animal-hair-coated fleece and long grey plait, followed her in.
‘Well, you’re a barrel of laughs this morning,’ she said, leaning on the counter to watch as Felicity poured boiling water over teabags, her face aching from lack of sleep.
‘Aren’t I always?’ she said softly.
‘These days, not so much. But who can blame you, eh?’
This was probably a moment where they might have hugged. Andrea being Andrea was not a hugger though, except when it came to random men off Tinder, and so they just stood in silence for a few moments, Felicity staring at the chipped mugs before her, wishing against all hope there were chocolate biscuits somewhere about the place that hadn’t already been snaffled by her boss.
‘Ooh, I know what will cheer you up,’ said Andrea, eventually.
Felicity didn’t even look up. ‘You’ve finally got Javier tied up? I mean, pinned down? Ew… no, they both sound dirty. You know what I mean.’
‘Ha ha, you know me, I do like my men tied up. But no, that’s not it. In fact, I don’t think I’ll ever have him pinned down now. He says he wants to give it one more chance with his wife, the absolute snake.’
‘You’re joking? I’m so sorry.’
‘Oh, I’ll be fine, don’t you worry. I always am.’
‘Still…’
Andrea waved a hand as if she could wipe Javier off the face of the earth. A shame, Felicity had liked him too. He’d made them all laugh at Christmas with his crazy cocktail concoctions in honour of Andrea, like Wet Dog and Not Another Cat Please. He’d seemed to really be into Andrea, too, but then what did she know? Felicity had been too busy trying not to be sick that day to really notice anything else.
Andrea’s gravelly voice drew her back into the room. ‘It is about men though. One man, to be specific. We have a new person starting work this week.’
‘We what? How can we afford someone?’ Felicity felt suddenly numb. This was her happy place, her sanctuary. She was a bit hot and bothered at the thought of someone invading it.
