Page 32 of The Day After Christmas
‘I’m sorry,’ said Harry.
‘It’s okay,’ said Felicity. But it wasn’t. Not really.
CHAPTER 17
Felicity’s mother, Jocelyn, passed away when Felicity was a teenager, after years of alcohol and drug abuse and, they’d discovered much later, promiscuity too. She’d even cheated on Harry, more than once, perhaps, and yet when Harry left them, walking out at Christmas in the middle of a family dinner, Jocelyn went completely to pieces. Tristan had gone to search him out as soon as he was old enough to do so, leaving Felicity to mop up her mother physically and psychologically, as best she could. It had been the worst kind of childhood, one where she was forced to grow up way too fast and had no one to help her cope with the loss of her father, no male role models and barely a female one either. When Jocelyn wasn’t drunk, she was sleeping it off or wallowing in her own misery. When Jocelyn finally died, sad as it was, the overwhelming feeling was relief.
Sitting across from her father now, who was arguably the reason for all this misery, Felicity knew she should be mad. She was mad. Perhaps it would be with her forever. But somehow, it was also good to be able to talk to someone from her own family. Someone who could understand. Someone who knew Jocelyn. Someone who knew.
That night, Felicity curled up against James and tried to explain what it had been like to finally spend time with her father. But the words were elusive. Bobby Charlton had settled himself under her chin and was purring for England. His soft black fur tickled her skin.
‘Mainly, I just feel exhausted,’ she said. ‘Like I’ve been hit by not just a ton of bricks but maybe a whole houseful. If they use more than a ton of bricks to build a house, I really have no idea how many bricks a ton might be but I imagine it’s quite a lot.’
James squeezed her shoulder. ‘I’m not surprised. It must have been really emotional.’
‘It’s strange. It’s like he’s always been there and yet I know nothing about him, does that make sense? It’s peculiar.’
‘I can imagine,’ murmured James. ‘I mean, I can’t really, but I’m trying.’
Felicity snuggled in closer. ‘You are so lovely,’ she said simply.
They sat in silence for a few moments.
‘Felicity…’ said James quietly. ‘I’ve been thinking.’
‘Did it hurt?’
He squeezed her side, making her giggle. ‘Ha ha, you’re hilarious, Brooks.’
‘I know.’
‘But I’m being serious.’
‘Yikes. Not again.’
‘I’ve been wondering if it bothers you that I used to share this house with my ex. You know, with Erika?’
Felicity stiffened at the name. Tall, glamorous and exotic-looking, Erika was everything Felicity was not. ‘Well, now it does.’
‘Sorry. I didn’t mean to bring her up.’
‘It’s okay. But you only get one a year, right?’
‘Right. Sorry. So… does it?’
Felicity turned to face him. His brow was crinkled with worry. She smoothed a hair back from his face while she thought it over.
‘I mean, it’s not something I think about on the regular or anything.’ His eyes relaxed a little. ‘But now you mention it, I suppose it’s not ideal…’
James nodded gravely, his blue eyes wide. ‘That’s what I thought. I was just wondering?—’
‘But you love this place.’
James looked very intense. Felicity felt her cheeks growing warm. She loved it when he got all serious. ‘I do. But I love you more. And I think…’
‘Yes?’ Her heart was pounding now.
‘I think we should buy a place together.’
