Page 113 of The Day After Christmas
Just one mouthful,she thought.
She piled her fork high with a combination of egg, beans and tomato, and very carefully brought it up to her mouth. At the lastmoment, a lump of egg wobbled off and dropped down the front of the dress and Felicity let out a little scream.
‘What?’ came a voice from outside. James was still bloody out there, wasn’t he?
‘Don’t come in, don’t come in, everything’s fine,’ said Felicity, frantically rushing to the bathroom and locking the door.
‘Do you need me?’ came James’s voice, more distant now.
‘No, bugger off,’ she yelled.
‘Are you sure?’
‘Go downstairs, will you!’
Felicity looked in the mirror, aghast. Her beautiful cream silk dress now had a trail of egg yolk down the front of it.
‘Bugger, bugger, bugger,’ she said, staring at her own reflection. ‘You bloody idiot, Felicity, now you’ve done it.’
‘Room clean,’ came a distant voice from the door. Higher pitched this time.
Felicity threw open the bathroom door in a panic. ‘I know that’s still you,’ she yelled. ‘Stop pretending to be a cleaning lady.’
At that, the door opened and an actual cleaning lady stuck her head in. She was elderly and her face was lined and pale.
‘Are you okay, my dear?’
‘Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you were…’ Felicity couldn’t even finish the sentence. Tears began rolling down her cheeks.
The woman looked down at her dress and let out a little yelp.
‘Oh, good Lord. What have you done?’
‘It’s egg,’ said Felicity, her face crumpling. ‘I don’t know what to do.’
Like some kind of miraculous fairy godmother, the woman rushed forwards, waving her hands frantically. ‘Don’t touch it,’ she said. ‘And whatever you do, don’t put hot water on it. Just trust me, okay? Wait here.’
She rushed out of the room. Still sniffing, Felicity stuck her head out of the corridor behind her but thankfully, James was nowhere to be seen. But she knew it was only a matter of time before she’d have to come clean, pun intended.
He’s going to kill me,she thought, sitting down on the bed despondently. Why was she such a klutz? Fair enough, James had known this practically from the start, when she properly fell over right in front of him on their first proper date and he had to patch up her knee with a sticking plaster, but this? This took the biscuit.
Five long minutes later, the lady was back, carrying a tray of cleaning products.
‘Right, off with the dress,’ she said, coming over and pulling it straight over Felicity’s head.
Felicity was too shocked to even object. She wrapped her arms around herself to disguise the teeny tiny underwear she was barely wearing.
‘You,’ said the woman, tucking the dress carefully over her arm and pointing at the congealing breakfast by the window, ‘You eat while I sort this out.’
Felicity opened her mouth and out came a sob she wasn’t expecting.
The woman’s face softened. She had hazel eyes and dark-grey hair swept off her face. She stepped forwards and put a hand on Felicity’s cheek. She seemed nice but clearly had no boundaries whatsoever. Felicity was very conscious she was barely clothed.
‘It’s going to be okay,’ said the woman. ‘You’ll see. You are going to look perfect.’
Felicity nodded, choking back a sob and also resisting the temptation to take a step backwards. The fairy godmother lady gave her arm a squeeze and then turned and vanished into the bathroom with the dress, leaving Felicity shivering in herunderwear and wondering what the hell was happening and why she couldn’t just follow simple instructions.
She took a mouthful of toast and chewed rapidly. James was going to kill her.
