Page 111 of The Day After Christmas
A little laugh of delight escaped her lips and she looked guiltily around to see if anyone had heard, but the bay was deserted, the rising sun just barely creeping across the sea and touching the tips of the rocks, giving the whole vista a strange almost eerie look. Did she dare say the words out loud? She tested them in her mouth –I trust him– over and over again until at last they came whispering lightly over her lips and the salty air carried them out across the sparkling sea.
And then a thought dawned. And it was a big, bold thought that nearly stole the breath from her lungs. Felicity knew in that moment that trusting James was a decision, not a feeling. She could decide to trust him, and maybe she’d have to decide every day to do that but she didn’t need to be led by her feelings. No matter how many wobbles she had, how many times the betrayals of her past came back to haunt her, Felicity could decide each and every morning that this man was worthy ofher trust. She knew him. She knew it to be true. Just like with forgiveness – and she knew she still needed to work at forgiving Harry, of course she did – but in the same way, she could decide this. It was within her power to change the game. And that, thought Felicity, breathing the sea air deep into her lungs, that was everything.
Felicity practically skipped back to the hotel, but when she got back to their room, she opened the door as quietly as she could, half expecting James to be right where she left him, snoring softly. But no, he was up and pacing the floor.
‘Where the heck have you been?’ he said, rushing over to her.
He looked so serious, so grave somehow, that her heart gave a lurch. The irony, she thought, forcing herself to remember her little revelation.You can trust him. Everything is fine.
‘Sorry, I went for a walk down to the bay. I couldn’t sleep. Are you okay?’
‘Yes, of course, sorry,’ he said. He was smiling but she could see tension in his jaw. ‘I just woke up and you weren’t there. I got… scared.’
He looked almost sheepish. Her shoulders sagged in response.
‘I really didn’t mean to scare you. You were out for the count when I left. It’s still early, want to go back to bed?’
She raised her eyebrows at him in what she hoped was a suggestive manner but if he noticed, he didn’t react. His eyes flicked to his watch.
‘Actually, we do have somewhere to be today. You might want to take a shower.’
‘Oh… it’s like that, is it?’ she said, taking a step towards him.
He looked distracted, and her stomach flipped. What was wrong with him?
‘Not like that. I mean an actual shower,’ he said, a little sharply. ‘You’ll have to trust me on this one.’
Now she was getting paranoid. She recited the words from the beach in her head like a mantra.I trust him. I trust him. I trust him.
‘Okay, so now you’re making me paranoid,’ she said, in another attempt at levity. ‘Don’t you like the smell of the sea?’ She tried a winning smile. This time his lips twitched and she relaxed, just a little.
‘I would love you even if you were actually wearing a dress made of mussels and clams,’ he said, with a grin, ‘but that’s very much not the point right now. Go and have a shower and then I’ll explain.’
‘A dress made of mussels and clams. How would that even work?’
‘I panicked, okay? That’s all I could think of at short notice. But it’s also very much not the point right now. You need to go and get ready. We have somewhere to be.’
‘Don’t tell me you’re going to make mego outsideagain,’ said Felicity with a grimace. ‘It’s cold out there.’
‘Felicity Brooks… don’t make me double-name you.’
‘I think you just did.’
‘Get in that shower.’
‘Fine, I’m going,’ said Felicity, heading for the bathroom, cheeks burning. She must smell. That must be what it was. She washed herself twice over just to be sure.
When she came out of the bathroom, wrapped in a soft white towel, James was sitting on the bed, tapping a foot on the deep carpet.
‘There. Happy now?’ she said, dropping as civilised a curtsey as she could manage without totally disgracing herself in thescanty robe. James didn’t even react. Something was definitely up.
‘I’ve got something for you.’ James swallowed, handing her a large white box that had been resting on the bed beside him. His eyes were wide with excitement or, was that worry? It was hard to tell.
Felicity sat down next to him on the bed and blinked. ‘Where did that box come from?’
‘It was in the wardrobe.’
She ran a hand over it absently. ‘No, but I mean, how did you get this here on the plane without me seeing it?’
