Page 95 of The Night Before Christmas
What just happened?
He got on a plane a couple of days later and Felicity was left literally and metaphorically holding the baby (kitten).
It was an agonising wait.
First, she spring-cleaned her flat.
It wasn’t very big, so it didn’t take long. It was messy but not dirty. Usually. But as she cleaned out her kitchen cupboards for the first time since she moved in and collected up junk for the charity shop, she could hear Erika’s sneer about her lack of taste reverberating around her head. It was true, her décor wasn’t a patch on the fancy house in Chancery Gardens, but she liked it. It was homely. Cosy. Lots of cushions. Cushions made Felicity happy. She got a few more out of the linen cupboard just to make a point.
Then she met up with Sophie for coffee, something she tried to do as rarely as possible, but she still felt guilty about the whole ‘friend who covered her job for a whole week while she swanned off to Guernsey’ thing.
And it wasn’t as if she didn’tlikeSophie per se. She was perfectly nice and great company. And, as she proved time and time again, really caring and kind and supportive. It was just that her life always made Felicity feel so inadequate. Not to mention jealous. When you’d had the kind of upbringing Felicity had had, it was extremely difficult to really feel empathy for someone who still had both her parents, plus a loving husband, two gorgeous children, an electronically opening triple garageanda car port.
And to top it all off, Sophie was so ‘together’, somehow, so ‘managed’, that it always made Felicity feel like an emotional pile of old knitting. So much so that she usually preferred it when the three of them were together – for balance. She thought of Bex now, the three of them together at Christmas, giggling, teasing each other, and something twanged in her chest at the thought it may never be that way again. And then, right in the middle of their conversation, the seemingly always together Sophie suddenly wasn’t together at all. Felicity was shocked to see tears in her eyes. She edged closer to her in the familiar coffee shop booth and tried to look supportive.
‘The thing is, Felicity darling, I’ve been feeling kind of, well, actually, I’ve been feelingreallylonely lately. I wasn’t going to say anything but I thought you might understand. A little bit. I mean, oh God, I hope that doesn’t sound bad. You know what I mean.’
Felicity put a hand on hers. ‘I do. Understand, I mean. And I had no idea, Soph. I’m so sorry. I feel awful.’
‘Don’t be sorry. You guys have had a lot going on.’
‘That makes me feel even worse.’
‘Honestly, it’s fine. I just want to get back to how things were with us, you know? Before.
“I’m not sure they ever will now. How can she be marrying Adam of all people?’
Suddenly it was Felicity’s turn to have tears in her eyes.
Sophie put her head on one side. ‘Are you okay with this? Really?’
‘Yes. I’m okay with it. I mean, I think I am. They can do what they like, honestly. But I did think she might have felt a bit bad about sleeping with my ex.’
‘You know what Bex is like. She’s a narcissist. Always has been. I’m not sure she knows how to be a friend in the normal sense… but I know she loves you a lot.’
‘I know she does. In her way.’
‘But it still hurts, right?’
‘Right.’
They paused while they both drank their coffee and tried to get their respective heads around Bex spending her life with Adam.
‘They’ll have beautiful babies,’ said Sophie, suddenly, and Felicity burst out laughing.
‘Oh God, you’re right. All glossy hair and amazing skin. How irritating.’
‘It is rather.’
Felicity took the last gulp of her drink and felt anxiety wash over her. ‘Do you think he’s sleeping with her?’
‘Who? Adam? I should think so, darling, you know what he’s like.’
‘No. I mean…’
‘Oh. James.’
‘Yes.’
