Page 31 of The Night Before Christmas
‘Ah, but I didn’t mention the kicker.’
‘Oh?’ he said, eyebrows raised.
‘It was Christmas Day. I kicked him out in the cold on Christmas Day. He had to sleep in his car for two weeks. Couldn’t have waited until – what was it you said? A “random Tuesday in February”? Oh no, I couldn’t wait. I had to really make it count. Really make sure he suffered.’ She bit her lip. ‘So, let’s face it, I am Erika, basically. I’m so sorry, James. I did tell you you’d hate me.’
James was looking down at the table again. He didn’t say anything for a long time. Felicity scratched at her arm with a fingernail and made it bleed. James silently handed her a napkin. If it was stinging, she couldn’t feel it.
‘I don’t hate you,’ he said at last. ‘I’m really glad you told me.’
Felicity’s heart was flapping around inside her like a baby bird. She put her hand up to her chest instinctively to try to calm it while she waited for him to say more.Please say more,she thought.
‘No wonder you hate Christmas!’ he said suddenly, looking up with a kind of nervous laugh. She could tell he was trying to find the right way to react and felt strangely touched.
‘I really bloody hate it,’ she said quietly, looking at him steadily.
He smiled at that, just as she hoped he would.
‘Me too,’ he said, his eyes meeting hers again. She inwardly relaxed and the baby bird grew still again.
‘Tell me something,’ he said.
‘Anything,’ said Felicity.
‘This person, this guy who you walked out on.’
Uh oh.
‘Yes?’
‘Was it that guy. The ring guy? Did you forget to mention that bit?’
There it is.
What could she do? She had to tell the truth, she didn’t feel there was any other option with this man. It was as if he could see into her soul. She gave a quick, barely perceptible nod and he sagged a little.
‘Thought so,’ he said, raising his eyebrows. ‘Clearly, you are forgiven.’
‘You might be right,’ she said, ‘but I don’t think I can ever forgive myself.’
‘That’s not quite what I meant,’ said James. ‘You two obviously have some unfinished business.’
‘I don’t want to talk about him,’ said Felicity, trying to steer things away from Adam and the whole ring palaver, but there had definitely been a shift in the atmosphere.
‘Fair enough. Shall we get the bill?’ said James, and before she could answer he was already turning away.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Driving home,the car was full of thick, uncomfortable tension. So thick you could almost reach out and touch it. There was silence, mostly, to start with and then things became even more awkward when Felicity started fiddling around with the buttons on the radio to break the atmosphere. It quickly became clear the entire universe had a vested interest in what was going on between them. On every single channel – or so it seemed – there was a cringeworthy love song with words that spoke right into their situation.
When ‘Careless Whisper’ by George Michael started up, she turned it off altogether. Cringing as she did so of course. Because you never turn off ‘Careless Whisper’.
Oh God. Sorry, George.
She had to find a way to pull this back.
‘So,’ Felicity blurted out when they were almost back at her place.
‘So,’ he said, and, although she didn’t dare look at him, she could hear a slight smile in his voice. Her heart leapt.
