Page 138 of Traces Of You
“We need to talk,” she said.
“About what?” he asked.
“Let’s go to the living room. You should get comfortable.”
He stared at her, but she held her ground until he moved and sat.
“What’s going on?”
Her bottom lip trembled. “I’m sorry.”
“About what?” he asked. There was hesitation in his question.
“You’re hurt because of me. It’s my fault.”
“Stop right there,” he said, holding his hand up. “Don’t even. This could have happened to me on any call.”
“No,” she said, shaking her head rapidly. “You lost focus because it was me. I didn’t need to hear Clay saying it to you either.”
He clenched his fist. “Don’t listen to my brother. I love you, but I would have done the same thing for a stranger.”
“Put yourself in the line of fire?”
When she’d heard that part, it’d made her question everything she’d done.
She was used to pain in her life.
She couldn’t remember a time when she didn’t have it.
Yeah, she could remember.
It was the past six weeks she’d been here.
There was fear. Confusion, doubt and insecurities.
But no physical pain.
Until she let her guard down.
“If I have to do that, I do. It’s part of the job.”
“Then your job sucks,” she said, crossing her arms.
He snorted. “I’m not always in the field. I don’t want you to be worried about those things, but law enforcement personnel have targets on them too.”
She knew those risks.
“It doesn’t mean it won’t scare me. That you could have died saving me.”
She didn’t want to cry in front of him again, but she couldn’t stop the tears from falling.
“Don’t put this on your shoulders.” He pulled her close to him. “I thought you were going to tell me you were leaving. I hope you’re not.”
“I don’t want to,” she said, wiping her arm under her nose. “But I don’t want your family to blame me, either.”
He held her while she sobbed. “No one is blaming you. Accidents happen. My mother has children with dangerous jobs. Clay promised her he’d come home and he did. But you know, something could happen to him with a machine in the mill. My father fell and got hurt. He was by himself. I’m not on the front line anymore, but shit still happens. Ash is running into burning buildings. Blaze encounters many crazy patients high on drugs. Gale defends criminals. There is no reason for you to think anyone is blaming you for anything. Get it out of your head.”
A hiccup escaped. “It’s so hard to do that. My whole life I was told everything was my fault. That I deserved what I got.”
