Page 5 of Tell Me Your Desires
Now what? How did you end a call like that? Goodnight seemed too casual. Goodbye seemed too formal and final. Maisie might think Anya wanted her fired.That’s a lawsuit waiting to happen.She opened her mouth to say something, but the line beeped again, cutting her off.
“Well… that works, I guess.” She picked Derek up, interrupting his ‘bath.’ He meowed irritably at her. “Yeah, yeah.You can have your bath while I have mine. We’re going to watchoneepisode ofA League of Their Own, and then we’re sleeping, so don’t even think about meowing at me for another episode. We both need our beauty sleep.”
Chapter Three
Rousedfrom her sleep by a car horn outside her bedroom window, Jaime groaned and rolled over, taking her pillow with her. This was the very day she wanted to sleep away. This date…two years ago, was the date that changed her life. Jaime knew she couldn’t go back and redo the past. She knew she couldn’t do anything to ease the guilt she felt. But she could work hard and give closure to other people out there. And that was precisely why she drove herself into the ground day after day. Only today, she didn’t want to leave her bed. What was the point? She would only be faced with death and loss. She had no trouble dealing with those things for the rest of the year, but not now.Notthis weekend.
Same shit, different day.
Jaime dragged herself from her bed, squinting as she opened the blinds, only to be met with bright sunlight. They would have been married by now if this date didn’t exist. Taylor would wake her with a cup of black coffee. Jaime would complain about the type of eggs they’d have for breakfast…ultimately choosing whatever Taylor preferred. Not this. Alone, while she stared out onto the street. Cold, even if the humidity in Nevada was kickingher ass lately. None of this. Jaime—whether or not she imagined a future with a wife—neverwanted this.
“Okay, come on. You’ve got this. Youcanhandle today.” She scoffed. Just another thing she’d mastered lately. Talking to herself. But talking to herself beat drinking a bottle of scotch before breakfast.
As Jaime walked barefoot through her apartment and towards the kitchen, she caught a waft of something familiar. A reminder of Taylor. It was only the vanilla diffuser she kept on the shelf by her apartment door, but considering it had been empty for six months, the scent presented itself now and then. And today, of all days, ithadto mean something.
Jaime rested against the counter while her coffee brewed, and there was a deep ache in her stomach when her mind refused to shift from those mostly happier times. It wasn’t always perfect, but they’d come so close.
“Tay? Are you home, babe?”
Jaime heard a soft hum coming from their bedroom as she kicked the apartment door shut, an arrangement of flowers cradled in one arm.
“Tay?”
“In the bedroom.”
Jaime kicked off her boots and shoved them out of the way with her foot. Taylor was forever complaining about Jaime leaving her boots lying around. It could have been the fact that they’d both come close to tripping headfirst into the door on more than one occasion, but Jaime couldn’t be sure. She grinned when Taylor came from the bedroom and smiled in her direction. Her fiancée had the most beautiful smile. One of those smiles that lit her eyes up. Jaime was a sucker for everything and anything Taylor did.
“I didn’t expect you home for dinner.” Taylor suddenly frowned, leaning against the doorframe. “You told me you were up to your elbows in a case.”
“I…am. But it’s our anniversary, and I had to at least try to make it home to you.”
Taylor softened immediately, pushing off the frame and stalking toward Jaime. She took the flowers and leaned in, kissing Jaime slowly. “Thank you. They’re beautiful.”
Jaime watched every move Taylor made as she rounded the counter in the kitchen and placed the flowers in the sink. When Taylor turned back, she sighed. Jaime didn’t know what was wrong. “What’s up?”
“I didn’t make dinner. I didn’t see the point if I was eating alone.”
Jaime opened the apartment door, lifting two brown paper bags from the floor. “That’s where I come in. I picked dinner up from our favorite restaurant on the way.” She wore a broad smile as she spoke those words, settled by Taylor’s suddenly relaxed shoulders.
But then Taylor sniffled, shaking her head lightly as she brushed a tear from her cheek. “Did you have this planned?”
“Maybe.” Jaime lowered the bags to the coffee table, opening her arms to Taylor. When they embraced, the atmosphere felt far less tense. Jaime knew how Taylor felt about her job, how she would drop everything to rush to the precinct or a case out there in the dangerous underbelly of the city, but this was her safe place. In Taylor’s arms. “I’m sorry. I know I’m a terrible fiancée sometimes, but I’ll always be here for these moments. Our moments.” Jaime pulled back, cradling Taylor’s chin in her fingers. “Okay?”
“Okay.”
“Now, should we eat before we relax for the rest of the night? I…had some plans.”
Taylor narrowed those deep brown eyes. “Plans?”
“Naked plans. You…me…chocolate sauce on those crisp white sheets you love,” Jaime said, watching in slow motion as Taylor’s features changed. That would never happen, but the getting naked part absolutely would. “Okay, we can leave the chocolate sauce and sheets out of this for the time being, but I can’t promise you it won’t get messy at some point.” Jaime leaned in and kissed Taylor, smiling against her lips. “You taste sweet. You’ve been eating cookies.”
“I had some time on my hands. I thought I’d do some baking.”
Jaime swooned all over again. “You are really not what I imagined in my future, Tay. But do you make me happy? So unbelievably happy.”
Taylor’s brow creased. “I-I don’t?—”
“You bake cookies. You make sure we have crisp sheets. You want to cuddle and relax and watch movies together.”
