Page 62 of Tell Me Your Desires
Anya opened the door, folded her arms across her chest, and leaned on the doorjamb. She didn’t say a word. Instead, she allowed Jaime to squirm in the silence. Besides, Anya was trying not to be embarrassed by her sweaty, disheveled appearance.
“H-hey.” Jaime swallowed audibly under Anya’s intense stare. But that wasn’t what took Jaime’s breath away. She’d seen Anya in many different ways now since meeting her. But never like this. A blue bandana held back her mussed hair, and the thin, long t-shirt she wore that covered most of her short shorts exposed incredible legs. The look was domestic and sexy as fuck. “May I, um, come in?”
Anya sighed but moved and gestured for Jaime to enter. “I’m not mad at you,” she said finally. “Though, if you weren’t ready for whatever this was between us, I would have preferred you just tell me instead of ghosting me.”
Jaime tore her eyes away from Anya’s bare legs. She’d seen this woman naked, so why did she feel so affected by this version of Anya? Then what Anya had just said shot back into her mind. “Ghost you? I wouldn’t do that.” Jaime hoped Anya believed her. “And Iamready. I wouldn’t have asked you out on a date if I wasn’t.”
“Jaime, it’s normal to change your mind…”
“I didn’t change my mind.” Jaime sighed. “And please don’t psychoanalyze me.” She could completely understand why Anya felt the way she did after Jaime’s stupid disappearing act, but now, instead of talking about the plan, she had to convince Anya she was ready to move on with her life. “I didn’t ask you out only to realize I still have feelings for Taylor.” Jaime wanted to move closer and take Anya’s hand, hoping it would convey what she felt, but she wasn’t sure Anya would appreciate it. “I think I’ll always have a place in my heart for Taylor, but she’s gone, Anya. She’s been gone a couple of years now.” Jaime scrubbed a hand down her face and groaned inwardly. “Look, my hang-up is not my love for her. It’s a sense of responsibility to find out who did this to her.” Jaime hoped that didn’t make her sound heartless. She hadn’t meant it in that way.
Anya offered Jaime a seat on one of the stools at the kitchen island. “Water?”
“Unless it’s coming from Derek’s bowl,” Jaime teased, hoping to ease some of the tension in the room. “I’ll take whatever you’re offering.”
“I wouldn’t do that. Derek gets special filtered water.” Anya tossed Jaime a glass bottle of sparkling water, deliberately testing Jaime’s reflexes.
“S-shit!” She bobbled the bottle a few times before securing it tightly with both hands. “Thanks.”I think. Jaime twisted the top off and was immediately sprayed with a jet of carbonated water.
Derek scrambled to get away from the unplanned shower, while Jaime sputtered, and Anya burst out laughing. “Oops.” She plucked a tea towel from one of the cabinet drawers and tossed it in Jaime’s direction. “I should have warned you to give that a minute or two.”
Jaime wiped her face, then dried the area around her. “I totally deserved that.”
“That wasn’t on purpose. Also, I wasn’t psychoanalyzing you. If whatever this is we’re doing is going to work, you can’t assume that every time I have a thought about something, I’m ‘psychoanalyzing.’ Maybe, justmaybe, I can have feelings orunderstandfeelings without my degree. For instance, I can understand your need for closure when it comes to Taylor and feeling unsure how to get that. I can also understand how that would make getting into a new relationship difficult. For both sides.”
“Fair.” Jaime noted that Anya didn’t enjoy having her past occupation thrown in her face any more than she did her current one. “And I’m hoping thatthisis the beginning of something beautiful.” She took a long sip from her water bottle. It was more to stall than to quench her thirst, even though her mouth had suddenly become dry. “But, uh, in order for that to happen, I think we need to discuss a few things.”
“Well, that sounds ominous,” Anya muttered. “Tea?”
“This is good tea.”Jaime took another cautious sip after burning the shit out of her esophagus the first time around. “Thanks.”
“You’re stalling. And thatwaspsychoanalyzing you.”
“Touché.” Jaime saluted Anya with her cup of tea and grinned. “But it is true about the tea.” When Anya gave Jaime a knowing look, she set her tea down and braced herself for the conversation. “Okay. It makes sense. The closure thing.” Jaime knew Anya needed more when Anya tilted her head in question. “I don’t think I’ll ever get that with Taylor, though. Not her death, anyway. But I’m coming to terms with that. I have to.” Jaime looked down at her tea and smiled weakly. “This, though,is about Maisie, Veronica, Brenda, Mary, and Julie. I guess it’s always been about them, really, and rightfully so.” Jaime had always had the ability to separate the job from her personal life. She couldn’t understand why this time was any different. Not really. “I’m confident enough to know I’m a damn good detective, Anya. But lately, I haven’t been one hundred percent. That means these women haven’t received one hundred percent from me, and they deserve that.” Jaime gazed into Anya’s eyes. “And then there is you. For as long as he’s out there, you’re in danger.”
“Jaime—”
Jaime held up a hand. “My head has been so far up my ass that I’ve been focusing on the wrong things.”
Like me, Anya thought. But there wasn’t a sadness behind that thought. It was merely the truth and an acceptance of the situation. They had come into one another’s lives through unconventional circumstances. That didn’t mean they didn’t belong together, though. It also didn’t mean they shouldn’t find out if they belonged together. But Jaime was right. There were priorities at the moment. The five women Anya had known and cared about were those priorities.
“Like your insane plan?” Anya smirked, thankful that Max was thinking clearly about that particular situation.
Jaime cleared her throat. “Yeah, about that.”
“Jaime.”
“Hear me out, please?” Jaime pleaded, aware that she couldn’t sit on this for much longer.
Anya stood to get more tea. She didn’t need more, but it gave her something to do other than be exasperatingly annoyed that Jaime was still thinking about this asinine plan of hers to use herself as bait. Which ultimately meant having sex with Lady A at the club, knowing they were being watched. Anya would admitto being adventurous in the bedroom. However, that was taking it a little too far.
Jaime watched Anya as she moved around the kitchen. She had just poured tea into an already full cup, and now she was wiping down an already clean counter as she mumbled to herself and Derek whenever he ventured close enough. Jaime could only smile to herself. Anya was adorable when she was frustrated. Though Jaime would prefer it if Anya wasn’t frustrated withher. Perhaps that would change once she understood why Jaime was pushing this plan.
“Are you done grumbling?” Jaime asked with a brow quirked when Anya finally sat back down.
“It depends on what impulsive reason you have to bring this back up.”
When Jaime locked eyes with a pouting Anya, Jaime found she couldn’t help herself. She leaned in and kissed those delicious lips. When she eventually drew back, Jaime’s hands tingled. They itched to do far more. “Sorry. It had to be done. Your pout is irresistible.”
