Page 65 of This I Know
“Avie.” Mara stands. For once, she’s actually intimidating. “You’ve been keeping secrets from me.”
I laugh. “I haven’t.”
“Then what’s the deal? What’s this I heard about you and Ethan?” She looks at me like she’s expecting me to tell her it’s not true.
I’m so glad I can tell her itistrue. As much as I denied wanting it before – from her, from everyone else, and even from myself – I admit that it’s the one thing I did want, and the one thing I did need. I don’t expect her to understand this, though. It’s never easy to convey feelings to someone when they can’t experience them in the same way. I just hope she’s supportive, and doesn’t think this is too soon after Cole and my attack.
“It’s true,” I say.
An energy shoots through her that I’ve never seen before. She pops forward on her legs and rushes to me, bending her knees and taking a seat in front of me on the floor.
“You’ve got to be kidding,” she says.
I try to contain my excitement and my smile. I’m sure she can tell what I’m thinking right now:No, I’m not kidding. And I’m so thankful that I’m not.
“But, Avery … he’s, like, absolutely gorgeous.”
I nod. “I’m aware.” Then I smirk at her. “What are you saying?”
She recoils. “Nothing.” She lowers her voice, as if there was anyone else here to hear us. “But how the heck did it happen?”
“It kind of just happened.”
She leans back, grabbing her knees. “Oh, that’s such a cliché.”
“I know it is. But it’s the truth. We were at James Connor’s party, and I saw him come with Julia Crane, and I was madder at him than ever. Then we somehow started talking, and I realized he’s not so bad. He’s kind of great, actually.”
“So I take it he’s not with Julia, after all?”
“Nope. And he never was.”
“Huh. I guess this means we should stop listening to so much random gossip in the halls.”
“That might be a good idea.”
Then things take a turn for the serious. Her smile fades, and she’s looking straight into my eyes. “Do you think you’re ready for this?”
I shrug. “I don’t know.” I fiddle around with the blanket that drapes over the foot of my bed, picking it up and folding it into a neat square before setting it back down. “I mean, is anyone ever really sure of anything?”
She take a moment to consider that. “Some things, yes.”
My hands empty now, I stuff them between my knees. “Well, I know he makes me forget about all the crap. And he’s nice to me. That’s good, right?”
“That’s very good.”
“And I know I can manage to be around him without being reminded of anything bad. Not like Cole–”
“Avery,” Mara interrupts, “promise me one thing. Now that you have this new boy-toy of yours, who’s obviously so much better in every way, let’s not bring up Cole anymore. As in, ever again. Okay?”
“Okay, okay. Can I just tell you what happened with him, too, last night?”
“Something happened withhim,too? You had quite a night. Okay. Shoot.”
I take a deep breath. “He talked to me.”
Mara pretends to gasp. She clutches her chest. “He actuallytalkedto you? Your old boyfriend?” She lets her hand fall and a disgusted look takes over. “It’s a miracle.”
“It’s pathetic, I know. But the thing is, I thought I could handle it, and it turns out I couldn’t.”
