Page 27 of This I Know
He cups his thumbs into the belt loops of his jeans and leans forward on the balls of his feet.
He’s about to say something, I know it. He’s about to ask me a question, or prod into my personal life, or say something super charming. He’s about to try to become friends.No prodding, Avery. No friends. And definitely no charming, hot guys.
I stand, lifting my notebook into my arms. “I’ve gotta go.” My voice is quiet and meek.
He moves aside. “Sure.”
I’ve almost left when I stop. My favorite pen. Damn it. I spin, and he’s still there, standing next to my desk.
I walk back and slide my arm past him, then pull away with the pen. I think I’ve gotten away with him not noticing until he turns and says, “See you around.”
“What’s up?” Mara plops herself down on the bench across from me.
It’s lunchtime and she’s made her way over to our usual table in the middle of the cafeteria. The table is already full of our usual friends, and we’ve saved her a seat. I pull out my lunch. “Nothing.”
“What happened to your face?” she asks, leaning in.
I cover my cheek. “Oh, God. You can see it?”
“I can see something.” She pulls my hand away. “What did you do?”
“I fell.”
“You fell?”
I nod. “Someone hit me with the door, and I fell. It’s a long story.”
“You’re struggling.”
“You could say that.”
I take another bite. I can see Cole from here. For the past two days I’ve been able to see him in the cafeteria, and I have no idea if he’s seen me. He hasn’t acknowledged me.
“There’s something else,” she prods. “What’s the matter?”
She must know exactly what the matter is, but that never stops her from asking. I keep my voice low; this is just between Mara and me. “He hasn’t said anything to me. Not even a text.”
She responds, too loudly, “Screw him.”
I look at her.
“Not literally,” she says quickly. “God, no. You know … just forget about him.”
I turn back to my food, not really eating.
“I’m disturbed that I had to clarify that for you, Avery.”
I stick out my tongue.
“Why are you still thinking about Cole, anyway? Look, maybe we really ought to try to set you up with that Ethan kid. Maybe that kind of hottie is exactly what you need.”
I hope with all my might that she can’t see me blushing, but I’m sure she can. It’s not like there’s any way to hide it on a fair complexion like mine.
“Ihavemoved on,” I say, then I pause. “I think.” I stop eating and move closer to her, reaching my upper body across the table.
She leans in, too. Her brow furrows with curiosity.
“It’s just so … aggravating,” I say. “I totally don’t want Cole anymore, but I can’t stand that he’s been such a dick to me. What’s wrong with me?”
