Page 1 of Dead and a Best Friend
My head hurtand my vision blurred as I stood in the middle of Coffee Bean. Was I having a panic attack? I had never had one before. I needed to sit down and concentrate on breathing. However, I couldn't move. I was aware of Bernie waving her hand in front of my face, but I couldn't focus on what she was saying. What was wrong with me? A gentle hand wrapped around my arm and guided me to a nearby chair. I felt it at the back of my legs.
"Tallulah, can you hear me?" Bernie shoved her face close to mine and repeated the question. Then she added, "You need to sit down."
I still couldn't make myself move. My body felt heavy, and my head was spinning. Bernie took control and forced me into the chair. The café was busy, and the chatter began to penetrate my mind. None of it made sense. Panic gathered in my chest like a hurricane. I could only manage raspy breaths in short gasps. Iheard a loud bang, as if the door to the café had been slammed open or closed.
Then I smelled him. That woodsy cologne that made my knees weak and my heart race. Warm hands cupped my face, and I knew it was him. I blinked, focusing on Carlisle Hallen, before bursting into tears. I jumped out of the chair and into his arms, clinging to him. I never wanted to let go. His strong arms guided me out of the café and upstairs to my apartment.
I was only on the sofa for a second before I was pulled onto Carlisle's lap. I pressed my face into his neck. "What just happened?" I asked, lifting my gaze to his.
The feather-light touch of his finger on my cheeks were soothing. "I'm not sure what happened, sweetheart. But I think a visit to your doctor is in order."
I winced. "I hate going to the doctor."
He chuckled. “I thought people hated going to the dentist.”
"I hate that, too."
His fingers played in my hair as I snuggled deeper into him. "The trial is coming up," I said softly. “Do you think it was a panic attack? I haven't had one before, though."
“I’ll make an appointment for you with the doctor. You need to get checked out."
"I don't think it's anything to worry about. I've been really stressed lately. I'm sure it's just my body reacting to that."
Carlisle didn't look convinced, but I knew I'd gotten out of going to the doctor when he sighed softly and tucked my head under his chin. "It's been a long time since I've had someone to worry about."
I surprised myself when I snorted. "You, Mr. Hallen, have worried about me for a long time." I sighed. "I've only recently come to that realization." I moved from his lap and shuffled beside him. "You know, maybe I do need to see the doctor. That little episode downstairs was strange. It was as if I knew whatI needed to do—sit down before I fell—yet I couldn't make my body do it." I frowned up at him. "Does that make sense?"
“I understand what you’re saying, but I don’t know what’s going on. I think we should bypass the doctors and head to the ER. We can go now." When he stood, Carlisle was a powerful presence. His black slacks and expensive white shirt clung to his body in a flattering way. The slacks curved nicely to his bottom.
He cleared his throat, and my eyes shot upward to find an amused raised brow. "When you've finished drooling over my butt, do you think you could get ready to leave?"
My cheeks heated as I shot to my feet. "You have a sexy butt," I said, rushing from the room. "I'll grab a jacket."
"My sexy butt will be right here when you're ready," he called after me.
That man was delicious, and he knew how he affected me. Although we'd slept together numerous times, we hadn't made love, even though his penis was always hard and pulsing beneath the cover. It wasn't for lack of trying to entice him, either. We did plenty of kissing and fondling above the waist. Nothing below. I needed to talk to him about why our relationship hadn't gone any further.
Huffing out a frustrated breath, I grabbed a jacket and went into the bathroom, running my hands through my hair as I did. My curls bounced, and I noticed how pale I was. Not good. I grabbed a bright pink lipstick and carefully applied a coat, smacking my lips together. This would have to do.
Carlisle slipped his phone back into his pocket when I appeared, a smile slipping onto his lips. "You're beautiful." His words made my heart skip a beat and a blush rose to my cheeks. He held the door for me, and we made our way out of the building. The back way. After my embarrassing moment at the café, I certainly did not want to be gawked at again.
"You know—" I turned to him, becoming heated as he crowded me against the side of the car. "Um, I can't remember what I was going to say." My hands pressed against his chest, and I couldn’t look away from his dark, intense gaze.
"I don't know what to do about you," he whispered, his lips hovering a breath away from mine.
I tilted my head and frowned, wondering what he meant. Lost in his presence, I couldn't think clearly. My heart pounded in my chest as I searched his gaze. "What do you mean?"
He cleared his throat and gave me space, which I wasn’t sure I wanted. "Let's get you checked out at the hospital."
Before I knew it, I was sitting in the passenger seat, trying to process his words. I needed to pin him down and demand answers because I was confused about him. But, as I searched for the words, I realized that I needed to ask, "What are we?" I realized that deep down, I feared his answer.
"His absence speaks louder than words,"I thought as I waited in the hospital examination room. Carlisle did come inside with me, so I'll give him that. However, he quickly excused himself after receiving a phone call and left shortly thereafter, only after I promised to call him as soon as I was finished. I'm not sure what to make of it. He’d been hot and cold lately, which worried me. That was also the reason why I was back in my apartment. I was upset about it, but what else could I do? Would my absence make any difference, or was I overthinking things?
As a grown woman, I was done being messed around with. I deserved better.
The door cracked open, and I forced a smile. "Ms. James, is it?"
"Yes."
