Page 69 of Clean Hack
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Home Is Where He Is
Lucy
Time seemed to slow down. Or maybe it was that we became so lost in each other that everything else ceased to exist. Time lost its meaning. The outside world fell away. And I was in a happy bubble.
I spent my days lounging around in his clothes, completely comfortable walking around without pants. Nights we spent naked, wrapped up in one another’s bodies to the point that I didn’t even know where I was.
He loved every inch of me and he showed me that every time he took me to bed.
At some point, I knew reality was going to kick in.
While I loved the little break that I had, I was starting to feel guilty the more the days went on. I needed to get back to my life, or at least work that part of it into my new one. Though I had been antsy to get my hands on a computer, I hadn’t actually made the move to do so. I knew Derrick noticed and while he could see the war in my eyes, he finally decided to put his foot down.
“Pack your stuff,” he said to me after I’d finished cleaning up the dishes from breakfast.
I loved that he cooked breakfast, and I cleaned up after. And he did the same when I made a meal. We had somehow silently found our rhythm and it worked pretty much right off the bat.
“What?” I said suddenly frozen.
“I’m taking you to your place. You can figure out what you want to happen from there. But I know you have things you want to get as well as get back to.”
See, he got me. I had tried to not say anything because I didn’t really want this to end just yet. But I supposed it was time.
“The way I figure it, we could go there, stay a couple of days and maybe head on from there. Maybe I could show you another one of my places. Either way, we could get a change of scenery and all. Or, I can find someplace to stay while you figure things out, give you some space if that’s what you need.”
“I…”
“You don’t have to answer right away,” he said pulling me into his arms and placing a light kiss on my forehead. “And I won’t be mad if you need some time to yourself. I get that this is completely different from what you’re used to. And there is no reason to feel bad about it, okay?”
“Okay,” I said nodding against his chest.
“Alright. I’m going to pack a bag and get this place set up for me to be gone a while.”
He left me and I felt cold. I missed his warmth and I doubted that I would ever need time away from him. I didn’t want that. I had meant to tell him so, but it felt like he didn’t even give me the chance. Maybe he didn’t want me to make any decisions right away. But I knew. I knew I didn’t want this man to go away from me. My hesitation didn’t have anything to do with him staying at my place. In fact, I was a little giddy and nervous about it. Also, a little terrified. After all, I had left my place in a hurry. There might have been a few dirty dishes in the sink and I was pretty sure some leftovers stinking up the fridge.
I didn’t even take out the trash,I reminded myself and mentally slapped my forehead.
I mean, come on, I wasn’t really thinking when I took off.
I had a feeling I was going to walk into a stinky mess. But whatever. I was sure he’d understand. He knew what had gone on and I would have guessed that he knew I didn’t exactly get my place ready like he was about to do to this one.
As I packed, I thought about how I hadn’t heard from Allison yet. Part of me wanted to beg Derrick to drive me down there. But then, the other part of me understood that she would need time. I got that on a different level because I was still wrestling with my demons too.
Thirty minutes later, we were on the road, headed north, in the direction of my apartment. It was going to take the better part of the day to get there and I imagined that he would make a few stops along the way.
“This is it,” I said as I opened my door and stepped inside.
Oh, yeah, there was definitely something funky wafting through the place. I rushed to bag up my trash, looking a little embarrassed, I was sure. All he did was smile at me, take the offending mass out of my hands, and ask where he needed to dump it. He was back within two minutes and I felt like I’d been holding my breath the entire time. Which was dumb, and I felt silly for it.
“It’s small, I know,” I rushed to say as he stepped into the middle of my one-room apartment and looked around.
“I like it,” he replied back in that smooth voice that always calmed me. “I seeyouin here.” He smiled at me and I could see a softness in his eyes.
“I, uh, don’t really know what to do now. I guess I tried not to think about it too much on the way here.”
“I think we should start here,” he said, breathing against my ear and then leaving a trail of kisses down my neck.
