Page 59 of Clean Hack
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For The First Time, I Hate My Job
Clean
Okay, so my mind spun as I walked down the block to the small, family-owned market on the corner. My brain was on auto-pilot. And it must have thought I needed to stock up because my hands reached to grab a cart rather than a basket like I normally did.
Then I stood there like a lost idiot. I had meant to grab some eggs, toast, and maybe even bacon. Just enough things to make breakfast with. However, I didn’t think it was a bad idea to get a few extra stuff to hold us over for a day, that way we wouldn’t have to go out later if we didn’t want to. And I had a good feeling that she would have been happy with that. My eyes scanned the store and I had no clue what direction to head. Not because I didn’t know where anything was, but because I had no idea what the hell to get. I didn’t know the first thing about what she liked to eat. Wait, that was a lie. I knew she liked those cookies she told me about. Oatmeal Surprise, she had called them. I had to be honest, they sounded amazing and if I knew the first thing about baking, I would have bought the shit that she needed to make them.
So I knew she liked one kind of cookie. That didn’t help me out a single fucking bit.
I shook my head and mumbled to myself about getting it together. I didn’t want to be gone long and I was pretty sure I’d wasted a good few minutes just standing there.
Fruit. That wasn’t a bad idea, right? I grabbed some apples and bananas. Then picked up some strawberries at the last minute. And fresh veggies were good for you. Sure, I liked a decent salad, even if I didn’t eat one all that often. In to the cart went lettuce, spinach, carrots, and a couple of cucumbers. I also picked up a cute little basket of tiny tomatoes. They were all different colors and even if I weren’t a fan of tomatoes, I couldn’t say no to how beautiful they looked.
I snatched up a loaf of fresh white bread. I knew for a fact that it was amazing and baked right there in the back of the store. I smiled, feeling that it was still a little warm.
I dashed up and down the aisles. Pasta, rice, cans of beans, oatmeal, cereal, pancake mix, taco shells, milk, and cheese. All of that ended up in my cart and more. Along with the eggs and bacon which I remembered to grab at the last minute.
I paid and wondered how the hell I was supposed to get all of this stuff back to the building. With a sigh and a shake of my head, I loaded up my arms with the reusable bags that I also ended up buying. It was a good thing I had strong arms, but I wouldn’t deny that by the time I made it to my front door, I felt like they were going to fall off.
I attempted to dig out my keys without setting the bags down, which was a dumb move. It wasn’t working at all, and the eggs kept swinging around and smacking me on the ass. I hoped that none of them ended up broken.
I let out a grunt and tried again.
“Derrick?” her sweet voice called through the still closed door.
“Yeah, it’s me, sweetness. Can you open up? My hands are a little full.”
“I heard you all the way in the bedroom. I would have thought you were fighting a bear with all that grunting,” she said then quickly noticed that my hands were indeed full. “What is all of this?” She laughed as she reached out and tried to take some of the bags off my hands.
“Just step aside, Luce. I got it,” I said flashing her a smile.
“I thought you were going to get eggs,” she said moving back and holding open the door.
“I did get eggs,” I said with a shrug, one that might have been a little lost because my shoulders were struggling to lift even a little bit right now. “And some other stuff.”
“I’d say so.”
Then she helped me unpack everything and I put it away.
“I’m not really sure what all you plan on making with this stuff. It’s kind of random,” she said with a giggle.
“Yeah,” I said, the corners of my mouth tipping down a little at the lack of focus I’d had. “I don’t have the first clue on what you might like and so I think I ended up grabbing whatever I saw.”
“I can make it work,” she said, looking at me as though she was trying to hold back a laugh.
Yeah, something about her made me nervous and insane on the inside. She made my stomach tremble and my brain shut down. Though it made me look a little like an idiot, I had to admit that I liked the feeling. And I didn’t want it to go away. Which, what I was really saying, was that I didn’t wantherto go away.
I didn’t say anything else as I got to work. Eggs were simple enough and I knew better than to overcook them.
We ate in silence and I could tell that there was something up with her. Maybe with me as well. It wasn’t awkward, it was more along the lines of we both were wondering things but too scared to voice them.
“Talk to me,” I said not liking the closed off communication.
I may not have liked people. And I may not have had many friends growing up. But I was smart enough to know that hiding things and keeping your questions and feelings locked inside always did more harm than good. I wanted to do this…whatever this was, and I wanted to make sure I did it right.
On the plus side, I didn’t have to worry about freaking her out with what I did for work. She already knew and in a way, it felt like the big stuff was out there already.
