Page 52 of Clean Hack
So, I didn’t keep much in my places. I would have said they were half furnished at best. I didn’t have a dining room table. Or even a full living room set. Which meant, that I had a couch. As in one. There was also a TV mounted to the wall and a decent sized coffee table. I also had a couple of lamps. One of those lamps was currently on, settling the room in a nice, soft glow.
But back to the sitting options, there was only one. Since she was sitting in the middle of that one option, I was either going to have to sit very close to her, or plant my ass on the floor. I hoped that she was aware of what she was doing and that she wanted me to sit next to her. Only one way to find out. I set the waters on the coffee table and slowly lowered myself down watching for signs that she wanted space. I got none. In fact, the moment my body sank into the cushions, she scooted closer to me. Since her eyes were glued to the flicking images on the TV, I couldn’t tell if it was intentional or not. But I didn’t care, I was going to take it and soak up the warmth that came off of her.
“I haven’t watched TV in so long,” she whispered continuing to go through the different options.
I thought it was a bit strange. Most everyone owned a TV nowadays. But instead of asking her why, I offered up some of my favorites.
“I like to watch those home renovation shows. It calms me for some reason.” I was sure there was more to it than that, but I never let myself think too hard about it.
“Okay, that sounds good.”
I slid the remote out of her hand and turned it to one of the channels I had memorized. It was in the middle of some flip-it house show. I waited to see if she said anything and when she didn’t, I set the remote down on the arm of the couch.
Eventually, her head leaned to the side, coming to rest on my shoulder. At this, I felt myself having to bite back a smile.
“I’m not crazy about the colors they chose for that bedroom,” she said a while later making me chuckle silently.
I’d been thinking the same thing. The yellow on the walls was the thing that made me cringe. Then again, I wasn’t a fan of yellow and wouldn’t really want it on my walls, that was for damn sure.
“The yellow with the green accents…it just reminds me of a bowl of lemons and limes,” she went on. “I don’t think I would like to look at that every day. Especially in my bedroom. Nothing about it screams sexy or ‘take me now, Mr. Stud-man’ even a little bit.”
That last statement made me choke and then coughed to cover it up.Real smooth, I thought as I mentally shook my head at myself.
“Oh, sorry,” she said biting her bottom lip for a second. “I guess I’m not used to having someone around.”
“It’s alright. I get it.” I wasn’t just saying that. I did get it.
“I’ve pretty much been isolated the last seven years. I mean, not so much in the beginning, but once I moved out of my parents’ house and into my own place, I really shut the world out. It probably didn’t help that when I moved out, I moved far away. I just wanted to leave everything behind, I guess.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I mean, I don’t think I wanted it to happen, it just sort of did. I got super focused on…finding Allison. God,” she said with a heavy breath. “I just feel strange now. Like I’ve been looking for her for so long and now it’s over. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so happy that she’s safe now. But I kind of just feel like…what am I supposed to do now, you know?”
“Sure,” I said because while I didn’t really know the feeling, I understood where she was coming from. “So, that’s what you’ve been doing all this time? The computer stuff? You haven’t gone out and made new friends?” I figured this was a good time to try and get more out of her.
“Oh,” she said and giggled like she was a little embarrassed. “Yeah, I guess I kind of got lost and just never really stopped to pull myself out. You know? After a while, it sort of became my normal.” She shrugged but I could see how much it really did bother her. “But no need to worry. Look at me now. I’m hanging out. I’m talking to people. Well, a person. I can be all human-y.”
I laughed because that was just so damn cute. And the way that she said it with a wink made it all the better.
Clearly, she didn’t want to go down that road. She wasn’t ready to dig into that part of herself and think about how the choices she’d made had in a way forced her to leave the girl she used to be behind.
“Allison,” she started and I moved to turn the volume down on the TV a little so she knew that I was giving her my full attention. “She was my best friend.”
I kind of got that much already but didn’t say that. Lucy got this faraway look in her eyes and I figured it was just best to let her go through what she needed to. If I felt like she was getting to lost in the past, then I’d pull her back.
After a long moment of stillness, she began her story. She told me about how close the two of them were. She shared special memories with me. I could see the smile in her eyes as she remembered happier times. At one point, I reached my arm around her shoulders and pulled her into my side. She snuggled in closer, pulling her legs in tighter under her body. I held her, hoping that I was bringing her some kind of comfort.
I knew this story was going to take a turn for the worse. I just wasn’t really sure how because I wasn’t clued into the situation.
Lucy began to shake as she told me about the night of Allison’s seventeenth birthday. How Savage had taken Allison from her home and how she’d been there to see it all. How Allison’s father stood there and did nothing to save his daughter. The tears began to fall when she explained to me how helpless she felt right then and the days that followed.
As much as I wanted to tell her that it wasn’t her fault and that she shouldn’t blame herself, I knew it wouldn’t do any good. Sometimes words didn’t matter. I understood that more than anyone. She had explained to me, in somewhat simple terms, how she began to figure her way around things. Then, I got the feeling like her skills just continued to blossom and grow as she pushed herself more and more. All of it because she wanted to find her best friend. It was noble, but I knew she didn’t see it that way.
“It wasn’t like I was trying to spy on these people or watch them in a creepy way. Though, I guess it kind of was.” She shook her head. “I just wanted to find him. I figured if I found him then I could find her.”
“That makes sense. But I’m guessing it wasn’t that easy?”
“No,” she said wiping the tears from her cheeks. “It took years before I even saw him again. He was like this ghost.” She paused and looked up at me. “Kind of like you.” There was a tiny twitch of her lips that had me thinking she wanted to smile.
