Page 38 of Ky
“I don’t know where my head is at.” His voice was low and full of truth. “I can’t explain things and maybe I’m not ready to talk about it out loud, but that doesn’t mean…”
When he didn’t finish his statement, I turned my head to look up at him. His eyes were on me—more specifically my lips. His tongue snaked out, slowly dragging over his plump bottom lip. I didn’t make a move, if he wanted it, he was going to have to take it. I realized this whole thing was a delicate balance. Even though I had more experience with this, I decided it was best to let him take the lead.
It was obvious he wanted to kiss me—hell, a blind man could have seen that. The burning question was, would he?
Then his hand was cupping the side of my face as his body leaned down. His lips met mine in a soft and sweet kiss. It was a bit strange to get this tender side of him but I couldn’t deny that I liked it all the same.
“I’m sorry,” he said as he broke away and then placed a firm kiss on my jaw. “You deserve more than what I can give you…someone better. I’m just not there and I can’t promise that I will ever be.” His words were a whisper in my ear.
I hated it for him. That struggle, I’d been there before. Sure, it was a long time ago, but I would never forget the confusion that tore at me for a long time before I gave in and accepted that this was me.
He was moving away before I could say or do anything.
“I’ll bring something home for dinner,” he called out over his shoulder before the front door closed behind him.
And suddenly it wasn’t just him that was the confused one. I had no idea what any of this meant or where it was going. After a kiss like that, so tender and full of emotion, I had no idea what to think. Either he was trying to tell me that he wanted it and begging me to have patience with him, or he was somehow giving an end to it.
Ugh.
Sometimes men could be more confusing than women.
